Maybe this is a bisexual/pansexual problem more than an issue for gay people, I don't know. But anyway, I've told friends "I'm basically gay but don't rule out anything", "I'm mostly into women but I guess technically bi/pan", "I'm 95% gay", and so on. These haven't been super long or involved conversations, because people just aren't that interested in the finer details of my sexuality, but these are things I've told most of my close-ish friends at one point or another. What people seem to hear, however, is "I'm bi(curious)", "I'm mostly into men but don't rule out women", and "Please set me up with some random male friend of yours". For example, yesterday I mentioned to one of my best friends that I was going to have my IUD taken out. She responded by asking whether that meant I'd given up on the idea of having a partner or dating in the future. Like... what?? :lol: :eusa_doh: I'm not distraught over this or anything, but it is a bit frustrating and just downright baffling. What part of "I'm mostly gay" don't people understand? I guess because I haven't dated any women (or men for that matter) since I told them, people default back to what they know of me, which is that I was married to a guy for 8 years. At some point I'll find a girlfriend, so whatever, they'll get it eventually. Anyone else experience this?
I've had some of that even though I've flat out said I'm lesbian. I was married to a man for 10 years, and although I talk of women I've dated, none of them have stuck around long enough to be introduced to family and friends, so maybe that's it. And when I got my IUD out, even my midwife kept harassing me on birth control and such. She didn't stop until I said, "No, seriously, I KNOW that no girlfriend I have will ever get me pregnant and that I'm not going to date men any more!" Then she switch to things like not sharing toys and such. I've even had people correct my pronouns when I talk about the women I'm dating. Something like, "I went on a date last night. She took me to a concert." "Oh, did he? What's he like." Ugh.
You too?? I know it's frustrating, but I couldn't help but laugh at your post. Heteronormativity is a force to be reckoned with!
