...with someone from an app. I won't say it went badly--it just wasn't all that successful. I'll just summarize it like this: I actually like conversation. Evidently, not everyone else does, too. You can be absolutely smoking hot (and he was, which really, really flattered me), but I need for you to be able to put together more than two words, okay??? Sorry, just venting. Maybe he's socially anxious. Maybe we were just a bad match. Maybe he didn't care for conversation and just wanted to skip to the next part. I don't know. But I will say this: at least I got myself out there. It was a start.
Congratulations on taking this first step. Subsequent meetings will go better as you gain experience with the process of using the app to meet guys. Might be worth trying to tweak your profile to indicate that you want more than a hookup - FWB or at least some conversation as foreplay. Once you have your profile honed, you'll start achieving a better signal-to-noise ratio.
I guess this is why some profiles on apps say "Please be able to hold a conversation" :lol: Its great you got up to bat. And while it sounds like a foul ball, its all about playing the game!
Crazydog I have used one of the hookup sites and refined my profile as Siennafire suggested. In my case, I am only looking for outdoor active guys. So, the first meeting is at a trailhead for a bike ride. I still get responses from guys that ignore the profile...some are tempting...but I have had good luck meeting great guys so far. I have met a number of platonic gay and bi friends over the past couple months and have started building a network. And, I have met a guy where the relationship is not always platonic. So, keep at it. It is a numbers game.
Like others have said, it's good that you put yourself out there with that app! that's huge given your journey and you'll learn more what you're looking for with more experience. I was actually recently on the app for maybe a week or so. I've never been a huge fan, but my rommates/FWBs wanted to go on it and explore having other hookups besides me, so I figured if they were doing it, I should too. I ended up actually meeting one really nice guy - we went on an actual date and ended up hooking up at the end of the night but it wasn't planned at all. That was a pleasant surprise. And we've been talking since and plan to see each other again this weekend. I deleted it since then, for two reasons. One, I wasn't enjoying it and the constant checking of it (more out of boredom than anything else), plus the guys weren't at all what I was looking for and I'm a bit over hook ups anyway. Second reason is my roommates deleted their profile as well after a situation came up with them over it, and they ultimately decided they're satisfied just having me around as a third party a couple of times a month.
Yay for getting out there!! Now that you know what you like, start looking for it. Don't settle for less. When you are talking with someone, let them know that you like to talk to someone before and after hooking up. That you aren't into cum and go type of scenarios. People will self-select out. Put your expectations out there so people are able to meet them.
Thanks for your feedback. It wasn't a total loss, of course. It was a good learning experience for me, first and foremost. He also told me that I'm handsome a couple of times, and that was a really nice thing to hear I'm sure he was nervous, too, which may have factored into things, though for all I know, he went and found a more... appropriate partner later on that evening. But anyway, I've made it through my first encounter in one piece.
Speaking as someone who has accepted they are gay but struggling with taking any steps beyond that, I have an idea how much of a huge step that must have been. I imagine that it would always take a little bit of time to find the right person and find out how best to go about things. Congratulations for taking that step!
These first steps into the world of gay hookups and dating aren't easy and I know how often I want to give up and pull the covers over my head and stop interacting with the world. But then today I got a message from a guy I hooked up with six months ago for some fun together. He just wanted to say hi and see how I was doing. It really made my day.
