I saw a thread a day or so ago about homophobia. I think I used to be really homophobic because of religion but got away from it as soon as I met queer people. Anyways, listening to other people spew ignorant comments has always bothered me. Today though, it was awful. I never really felt this shaken. First, one person referred to a trans woman as an it, because she has testicles. Of course I point out that a man who loses his testicles to an IED is still a man to which they have no response. Then someone else says that gay people shouldn't be allowed to serve in the military because its gross and makes her uncomfortable. I'm a service member. This made me incredibly angry so I went and sat down at my desk and then they come shove a picture of a woman with a penis in my face, saying more ignorant things. I'm stationed in the south so this religious bs surrounds me. I can't get away from it. I am sick of being in the closet, but I really don't want to deal with this full time. I have calmed down finally, but I get so angry when this happens. How do you deal with situations like this?
There's a really cool thing called federal law and bigoted comments at work violate a lot of it. If at all possible, speak to your supervisor and if you need citations as to specific law, I can help.
I agree with mvp447. This is more than just bigotry. It's a free country and people are free to believe what they want and to spout their opinions. But they don't have the right to do it a workplace that creates both a hostile work environment or sexually harassing anyone. This certainly meets the definition of both. Complaining about it, however, can certainly put you in a position of essentially coming out in that work environment. In many states, it is not illegal to discriminate against LGBT people in things like employment and housing. In your case, you may be covered by federal laws as MVP points out. Finally, I will point out something I read recently that really resonated with me. Things people say can only hurt you if there's some part of you that agrees with it. You might question for yourself why it bothers you so much. Why are you dependent upon their good opinion? You may still harbor some lasting remnants of the homophobia from the past and have not fully let go of all of it yet. Just a thought to think about.
Wow. Those things are all beyond uncalled for. And to happen at work coukd cost them their jobs. Be sure to turn them in. You should never have to put up with that.
I don't know of any federal law. We have an equal opportunity act that says we can be treated with respect regardless of age, gender, race, religion, and the whole works, but excluded from the list is sexual orientation. It feels like the leadership is going to drag their heels until the Secretary of Defense forces them to add it. I'm not really trying to use the law to win over hearts and minds though maybe I should. I'm really curious what you mean. I don't know of any federal law that protects sexual orientation. It bothers me when they say that shit, because it feels like a personal attack against me.
Depending on the person or place, just ignoring it is the best course of action. Because I am inclined to think they are only antagonizing you just to get a reaction. My brother in-law is a person I have to just take a deep breath and ignore on facebook and in person. He is just a miserable, beat people with "his" interpretation of the bible, hate spewing, ignorant... Just have to ignore him. Though when I do say something, its with heavy sarcasm and hits bellow the belt every time. Like the picture they shoved in your face. "That was pretty fast, do you have it saved in your favorites." or "Now I know who to ask to find weird porn." or "Does your mother know you are sharing her photos."
I'm not sure they were antagonizing me. Everyone assumes that I'm conservative because why would peace-loving hippy democrats serve their country. The whole thing got brought up because a trans recruit apparently went thru boot camp and apparently they thought I would think that is wrong. I loike those comebacks though.
I wish people would get their noses out of what consenting people do unless they know & support them. What does it matter if someone is gay in the military? What does it matter if a trans person has their "born genitals" or not? Are they a good person and do their job well? Yes? Then get out of their personal business unless they invite you in it. Usually the people with their noses where they don't belong do the most things they're ashamed of in the dark.
