Hi all, i am not a guy who is good in writing his feelings down, but i give it a shot.. I came out over a year ago. I thought before that coming out may be the hardest step to take and since then it would be easier... for me its not. Its hard for me to go out, mengle and get into a relationship. I still am not open about me being gay whenever i am in new situations where i meet new people (as in for new work for instance)... but the hardest part is for me to realize i probably wouldnt have children of my own. It struck me when i turned 38 and it hurts like hell. All of a sudden i am jealous of people with children...I really envy my friends who have started families allthough i know some are not even in a happy relationship. It hurts to know that i never would raise a child of my own, see his first steps...bringing him/her to school, seeing a child grow up and share a bond with. Suddenly i feel old with a future of hurt, envy and loneliness.....it suckss... Maybe someone understands what i am going through right now... greets, Jerry
My wife and I physically can't have kids, most likely, so I get it. Not our own biologically but a few ideas... 1)You could adopt and 2)there are surrogates as an option. I know that neither idea but that's poker, as they say, sadly.
