I used to bite my fingernails. Horribly. I would bite them, gnaw at them, literally tear the nails apart until they bled. Over and over again, allowing some to heal while tearing apart others, then back to the freshly healed ones. I did this for 32 years of my life, never really understanding why I was doing this. I used to be so embarrassed for someone to see my nails and I hid them constantly. My nail biting stopped about two years ago. I didn't really do anything to get it stopped, it just stopped on its own. Today my nails look great. They look like perfectly normal fingernails. I was clipping them a few weeks ago and came upon a sudden realization. I had never connected my fingernail biting to my closeted habits before now. But suddenly I realized that I stopped biting my nails about two years ago. That happened to be just after I came out to myself. Furthermore, as I thought about it, I then realized that I started biting my nails around the time I was 13. After I realized this, I sat down and cried. How could I have been so blind? I was so clearly torturing myself because I was hiding my sexuality and living in denial, and my mind found this way to cope. This was my version of cutting. Has anyone else found themselves doing any similar type of behavior? Nail biting? Skin picking? Hair pulling? Anything else? The more I see the connections of my hiding behaviors, and of my denial for so long, I'm so incredibly happy to finally be coming out of the closet. I still have much road in front of me, but I know I'm no longer stuck on the side of the road.
My friend got a tapeworm infestation in his gut from biting his fingernails. He touched raw meat, washed his hands but one of the eggs got under his nail and he used to bite them and he got really sick and almost died from it actually. Don't bite your nails!!
I, too, was a nail biter (more accurately, I'd pick and tear at them more than actually biting) and after nearly 40 years of it (I'm not sure when I started, but it was young), I stopped this past February... the same time I fully embraced that I was trans. I had tried everything to stop - that bitter nail polish crap, Tabasco, therapy, you name it - all with zero success. I believe, much like you said in your post, that this was a symptom of my anxiety surrounding growing up silently trans. As soon as I got comfortable with that fact, I was able to kick the habit almost effortlessly. Now I have great nails that I take pride in. :icon_bigg
My lifelong nail biting habit ceased the day I came out. I had tried to stop many times before, always without success. Sometimes, when I'm with a group of gay men, I consciously look at their fingernails and am never surprised to see multiple instances of bitten nails among them.
Me, too. Although I also started to wear polish (which I hadn't done before). It gave me a strange sense of power.
I have had extreme anxiety for the past 20 years or so. Shortly after accepting my sexuality, it started getting less and less. Since coming out fully, it has been completely nonexistent!
Thank you all for responding. I had a feeling I was not alone in this but I didn't know for sure. It's certainly logical that people bite their nails due to anxiety and being in the closet certainly causes anxiety. I'm sure there are plenty of straight nail biters that have anxiety about other issues too.
I used to pull my hair out in school. I usually only do it when I'm around my mother. I love her dearly, but she drives me crazy! I have had bald patches before, but they have grown back completely. Probably because I distance myself from here as much as I can. My sister used to pull her hair ALL the time. She did it a lot in high school, and actually had to buy 3 wigs because she made herself go 90% bald. Each wig costed over $300. What's so shitty is, my mom made my sister pay her back for them. Wtf? That's your child who has a disorder! See what I mean about my mom driving me crazy? She's bitter and kinda selfish. Now that my sister has moved out, the hair pulling is at it's minimum.
I am curious to know from you, and others in this thread, if you became aware at any point that there may be a connection between the particular behavior and being closeted or in denial.
I think there is. Being a lesbian is the main secret I am keeping from my mother. So, being around her stresses me out. My sister didn't know what her sexuality was in high school, because she never felt attraction to men. Soon though, she also realized she felt no attraction to women, either. So now she knows that she is asexual. After this realization, her hair pulling has decreased.
I started biting my fingers after moving to a junior school where I wasn't happy, and where there was a great deal of boy-girl rivalry. I was a tomboy and wanted to be seen as one of the boys, however it was made clear to me that I couldn't because I was a girl. The girls didn't accept me because I wasn't a "girly" girl. I came out about 17 months ago. I still bite my fingers whenever I feel I need relief from stress. I feel it comes from wanting acknowledgement for myself, that I exist, that I have some degree of control and power over my world, which can sometimes seem frighteningly random, and that I can effect change.
