1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Wow, so this is what it's supposed to be like?!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RosePetals76, Aug 16, 2016.

  1. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I will admit, my new relationship is just that... new. However, it's also amazing. I've never experienced anything like this. It's such an intensely deep emotional bond that I didn't know could develop so fast. We can talk about anything and everything. I've never felt like I've had to pretend anything, fake anything, or try to impress her at all. Everything has come so naturally.

    We already can't stop talking about how we want to be married, how many more kids to have, parenting issues, all the deep thongs that usually have taken years to reach all just pour out. And we've been on the same page on all of it, no matter who brings it up.

    I'm almost waiting for my bubble to burst. Please tell me it doesn't have to burst, that this can go on. I know at some point challenges will arise. I think we've talked about some that we know will, and I think we're right to handle them together. I'm so excited. Can this truly be love? Is this how it's supposed to be?

    I know we're ridiculous right now in this crazy new love, but we're also extremely logical and rational people, so to open ourselves up to this kind of vulnerability has been an intense ride. Not all joy, as we've also shared tears, too. Still, it's amazing. I'd hold her forever in happiness or tears, if I could be so lucky.

    Sorry for the sappy rant, but I need to express it somewhere.
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm really happy for you! :slight_smile: It's lovely to read such a positive post.

    (By the way, I've changed usernames. Was NotMyName.)
     
  3. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Oh, I was wondering where LostInDaydreams came from, but how there were already so many posts.
     
  4. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sorry for the confusion! :slight_smile: I never really liked my old name.
     
  5. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Really wonderful Rose! Yes, clearly it is love and it is beautiful to read how happy you both are.

    As you are both "extremely logical and rational people", it may be good to hear a few words of caution because you are both in a vulnerable state at the moment. In the past, marriages were coldly rational affairs, where families and estates were considered in the starkest of terms. No one would advocate going back to that, but high divorce rates do give one pause as to whether just going on feelings is a better way.

    Above all else, take the time to get to know her even more, and to discover who you are when you are with her. Because this relationship is new, and because you are still on your best behaviours (even though you state you aren't faking anything, there are unconscious guards on our nethermost beasts that take a while to relax). There is still room for some "interesting" surprises down the road of togetherness.

    You can start by acknowledging your own faults and bad habits (we all have them, nothing new there), and how these may cause problems in your relationship. Living with someone, sharing a space, can be a tricky proposition. Great and loving relationships can and often do succumb to seemingly little things such as using a shared bathroom, comfort with messiness, or bigger things like money.

    If you can wait, get at least to the six-month mark before deciding on anything.

    During this time, try new things together. You need to see each other with family, with children, with friends, at work and at play. Try a stint travelling with each other for a week or two (that is often a good way to test a relationship). See how she is like under stressful situations/pressure, examine your own behaviour with her under all of these different scenarios. What people do is far more revealing than what they say, and this goes for the both of you.

    I really am truly happy for you both! I am in a wonderful relationship myself with a wonderful guy, but I am taking it slow, precisely for the reasons stated above (the value of experience from my former marriage, I suppose).

    Love is a verb, and loving is primarily loving the good that you see in the other. In other words, you need to know that person very well before you can love the good that you see, and you need to decide if the good that you see outweighs the inevitable less-than-good traits that you will inevitably discover.
     
  6. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,141
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wow what a story RosePetals76. I ponder the stories ramifications. For one, I've never had nor done what you have written about. I have to read about finding a person one clicks with or watch movies to learn what it is and what it is like. Your post give me hope, hope that I to may experience this someday.
     
  7. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,838
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is so wonderful Rosepetals! I'm so happy for you :icon_bigg
     
  8. RosePetals76

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    GreatWhale, no worries. We can't move past the girlfriend stage for at least 7 months, as I have a roommate that much longer and my girlfriend has made it clear that roommate needs to go before we get more serious. She appreciates that I'm keeping my 7 month commitment, though.
     
  9. Adray

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Illinois, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That is so awesome, Rosepetals! What an exciting time of life, very happy for you.