I have no idea how to date

Okay, I'm probably being over-dramatic with the subject line, haha, but it feels like I have no clue how to really fairly date.

I've been in two long term relationships in my life. Both with women. The thing is, neither started as "oh she's attractive, I should get to know her/date her." They were both friends first, who I knew and cared for very much, and then transitioned into romantic relationships with. And that makes sense for me, because I'm not really attracted to women physically, but can connect with women emotionally. Even the other girls in my life who I had thought about dating were friends who I had a personal connection with. And the two other girls who I actually went out on first-dates with were girls I loved talking to, but again had no real physical interest in.

With guys, since I am attracted to men physically, it seems like dating starts at that level. And I'm sure that's the way its supposed to be. But it makes things hard when I don't necessarily find myself making a deeper connection to any guys. My history of dating guys is very short, but I'll summarize the last couple of months (since I separated from my female partner) of dating guys that I've gone through:

-One guy, call him S, I went out with about three times. From the first time I really wasn't that attracted to him, but personality wise I thought we matched and had a lot in common. But I literally had no desire to do anything with him sexually. I was relieved when after the third date he text me saying he didn't see a romantic connection here and we should just be friends! Like, I'm so glad he said it and I didn't have to. And no, we haven't remained friends, haha.

-Next guy, call him C, we went out on one date and it became kind of clear from the start that we had little in common. Then he asked if a friend of his could join us at the movies. I kind of liked the friend, wish I had gotten his number! Haha. C has tried getting together with me again on a friend-basis, and mentioned inviting his other friend from the movies, but I was never free to hang out when they wanted to and it's now been awhile since I heard from him.

-Went out on a date with M. He was probably the hottest guy (for my taste) that I've ever gone on a date with. For all intents and purposes, the date went really well, but I felt no real interest back from him. We haven't spoken again, which is disappointing but no biggie. If ever there was a date that I would have loved to turn into a hookup though, damn...haha.

-Then there's T. Now T was a guy I really liked emotionally, but physically not so much. Ironically, if he were a woman, I would probably be dating him right now semi-seriously. He wasn't awful looking, but he wasn't the hottest guy to me. And there were some things about how him, hygiene wise, that grossed me out. I feel pretty shallow admitting that. But it got to the point where the idea of doing anything sexual with him made me feel sick. After 5 dates, I had to just tell him that I wasn't interested in him in that way but would like to remain friends. It was really hard sending him that message, but I didn't want to lead him on and the physical stuff just wasn't going to get better.

-The latest is J. I actually met J on an app mostly used for hookups. He's really hot, haha. 23. We had a fun first date and yes at the end of the night we hooked up. We met twice again after that, once for lunch and once for another date. I'm disappointed to say that while I really liked him, I've already seen what feels like red flags that make me think I shouldn't invest any more time. He's a party guy (out drinking on weekends, etc) and that's not where I'm at. He also sent me some truly mixed signals. Like, he went out of his way to travel for 2 hours to come see me on Saturday because he really wanted to hang out...but he also told me about the guy who he gave his number to after our first date, and about the guy who earlier that same day tried to get him to go home with him that night but he said sorry I have plans to see a "friend." So yeah. Biggest red-flag though is during sex he asked me to do something I said no to, and he kept asking to the point where I had to say NO at least 5 times. That's not okay.

So there it's been. And that's been about two and a half months. I feel like Seinfeld, dating somebody new every week. And it makes me think I'm just not doing it right. Or maybe I am and this is normal and I've just never done it before. I don't know. Bright side, there's two guys both named M on the radar...:icon_wink