I've got a new man in my life and he's coming over to my place. I'm a single dad and my oldest daughter is still awake reading in bed. So I told her a friend is coming over. She said "Alright" and then I said "Actually he's more than a friend. He's like a boyfriend" and she said "Alright". I was a little embarrassed. But then she got ready to go to sleep, I covered her with the doona and gave her a kiss goodnight. She would have noticed my mixture of nerves and excitement. I'll have to have a relaxed chat with both the kids tomorrow. They are great kids, both of them and they know how much they mean to me and if they see I'm happy and relaxed and have a person in my life, I think they'll be ok with it. Anyone got any experiences of what it's like for kids when one of their parents has come out to friends and other people? Thanks for being here as a safe space to share. Since signing up here, I've felt like I'm calmly preparing myself to come out to the wider world
No experience to share, but congratulations on coming out to your daughter! I hope your chat goes well tomorrow.
Congratulations! Kids are often so much more accepting than we might expect. I'm sure she's processing this information and will have some questions for you, but you've taken a big step. Best of luck with your conversations with your kids. I can't offer any tips since I'm not there yet (though I suspect my 11 year old might have read my diary...), but please keep posting your progress. :eusa_clap
I think it depends on a lot of things. My kids are older, and as I've shared here before, my almost 16 year old daughter is in complete denial. She is completely disgusted at the idea, but then again we live in a very rural, conservative Christian community. Think back about 30 years ago...yes, that's about where this place is stuck. My son is almost 23 and he's fine with it. In fact, he told me his girlfriend used to have a girlfriend, so I figured that was his way of telling me he was cool with it. However, I really think the younger you can share this with your child, the better. Just because it really won't be a big deal in the long run. Good luck and congratulations with everything.
I waited until dinner tonight before bringing up the topic of the new man in my life and both the kids really weren't interested or they felt uncomfortable talking about it. So I decided just to let it go for now - I know not to push them to talk about something if they don't want to. But at least I mentioned that he'd stayed the night with me. So it's out there for me to bring up again soon. But he also left before they got up - he's a bit uncomfortable about meeting them so early on in the relationship. But at the same time, my oldest daughter was really attentive to me today, as if she's sensed something has changed for me and she was seeing me in a different way.
Thanks for updating, Goldensun. I've no advice, but I hope you're able to discuss it with them soon. Keep posting.
I introduced my kids to my girlfriend for the first time a week ago. I'd told them before that I only date women, that I'm what is known as lebian, etc before, but they've never seen me with a woman. A day or two afyer, I asked my kids what they thought of seeing us together and my 12 year old responded with, "you two looked really happy, mom." Sweetest thing ever. They all have adjusted quite well.
Thanks for the feedback. Today I came out to a gay colleague who has two kids of his own similar in age to my two. I went about it in a roundabout way by asking him about his kids in general and we exchanged parenting tips and experiences and eventually I trusted myself enough to ask how it is for his kids and also for him as a gay father. And only then only at the end did I say I'd met a guy and it was probably going to develop into my first gay relationship. It felt a bit strange but he responded well. We're fundamentally different people with different lifestyles and approaches to life and being colleagues is the only thing we have in common. But I'm happy I mentioned it to him. I've decided this is how I want to come out to people in my life: in the context of it being relevant in some way to the context of how I know them. I don't need some big declaration to the world. But I'm no longer terrified about coming out, in a way I'm looking forward to it.
