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Today is the day

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by I'm gay, Aug 27, 2016.

  1. I'm gay

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    Today is the day.

    Today is the day I come out to my kids. Today is the day I change their lives forever. Today is the day they learn that they have a gay dad.

    I've been trying really hard not rehearse specifically what I'm going to say to them. That's actually difficult to do - not rehearse. I want the conversation to be organic and not feel or sound like a prepared speech. I need to feel in the moment, feel present with them and able to respond to them at the moment and not be scripted.

    I am in a much different place in my mind and in my heart since I first joined EC. Reading and posting and sharing with all of you over two months has helped me tremendously to prepare for today.

    Over the last week I have come out at work to about a dozen people. Each coming out has helped me to build the confidence I needed to be able to be vulnerable in front of my children. I suspect that's one of my greatest challenges with them. I don't think I have ever been truly open, honest and emotionally vulnerable to them. For me as a parent, it seems that I have never been emotionally honest with my kids. I have never cried in front of them. I guess I never wanted them to see my flaws or allow them to think I'm anything but a strong and capable person.

    One thing I have figured out in the last few weeks was in thinking about my feelings and emotions, and how when I stuffed my gay feelings down so many years ago, it wasn't just my gay feelings that got repressed. Unknowingly I also repressed other feelings along with them. I stuffed down passion and true joy. I stuffed down parts of love and vulnerability. I stuffed down pieces of my soul that I haven't been in touch with since I was a teenager.

    Today I am reclaiming myself. Today I choose to be vulnerable. Today I choose to take the risk by revealing myself that the ones I love most in this world. My journey has been so very long and today I take another major step forward. Yes, today is the day.
     
  2. Katchoo

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    :newcolor: :newcolor: :thewave: :newcolor: :newcolor: :thewave: :newcolor: :newcolor: :thewave: :newcolor: :newcolor:
     
    #2 Katchoo, Aug 27, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2016
  3. Nickw

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    Iamgay

    Good luck! From everything you have written and the help you have provided to others on this site I can tell you are a compassionate and understanding man. Children are so often reflections of their parents in so many ways. Your kids will be fine with this even if it takes a bit of early adjustment.

    I know what you mean by being a changed person. Since coming out to my wife, I have become the guy she fell in love with. The closet was killing me a day at a time. Your kids will ultimately benefit so much from relating to the real you.

    Best of luck.
     
  4. Stewie

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    That's great, so proud of you and so happy this site has helped with this whole transition and change in your life. :eusa_clap(&&&):eusa_clap
     
  5. Katchoo

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    Yes!!!
     
  6. Adray

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    You can do it. I'm wishing you strength!
     
  7. TravelerMe

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    I hope things go well! Hugs!
     
  8. CameOutSwinging

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    Hey, hope it went well! Definitely want to see an update!