Glad I found you guys. I've been a lurker for months (around the time Nick came out to wife). Wanted to say hi and share a little bit about why I'm here... Like several of you, I too fell in love with a straight woman. I'm a bi-woman living in a straight marriage to a man who is a devout Catholic. We have two kids. Things are not bad and really, it's a blessed life. Falling in love with my daughter's dance teacher has turned my life up-side down. My attraction to women started in my early 20's and I dated several women prior to meeting my husband. I told him about my interest in women but withheld the dating part (yikes). I'm out to old friends who knew me when but not in my suburban housewife world. Long story short. I felt an intense physical and spiritual attraction to J. J is married with no children. We developed a strong soulful bond, sharing some stolen moments. Sitting by the river with each other makes my heart break in half a million times over by thinking about it. Platonic relationship. She never led me to believe she was attracted to women and if you can believe it...we never openly talked about it. I just told her in one email about my orientation casually and that was that. Anyway, I'll spare all of the details. What I will say is that my heart is taken a big enough beating by our "friendship" and I have vowed to now let her go and try to get over my love for her. Things have been super peachy in her marriage lately (rare) and that has led me to this decision. She made the process easier because she has sort of weaned herself slowly from contact and now I just did her the favor and stopped the contact altogether. So, I cry daily, I wear my rubber band on my wrist in case I'm tempted to contact her, I have my stay strong theme song and I pray the pain lessens with each day. The weirdest part is that it's all been unspoken. Guess it's part of the spiritual connection. We just both know it ends here :icon_sad: I don't know how I'll handle seeing her at the dance studio but I plan to stay away for a while. Oh well. That's my sad story. Thanks for listening and I will be chiming in to other posts when I can. I really fell hard for J. She made my soul sparkle. I had this image of us in the distant future living a peaceful life together as we had often shared the same dream. :tears::tears::tears::tears::tears:
Hi SweetSoulJulia. Thanks for sharing your story, I'm glad you're here. I don't have any advice, but wanted to give you a big virtual hug. (*hug*) I hope you find relief from the pain.
My heart goes out to you. I am in a similar situation, letting go of someone so special is very difficult. For me, A moved away and now we do not have contact at all. Keep your chin up.
I know exactly how you feel, loving someone soul deep, having a certain connection that never really goes away no matter how much you run from it. hang in there.. feel free to talk about it, from experience it helps a lot having people listen to you instead of keeping all inside.
