lets find positives

Through the help of EC, I came out, separated from my wife, started living authentically, and purged my internalized homophobia and shame. I discovered how amazing sex and relationships can be when aligned with my sexual orientation.

I've never been happier or more content than I am now that I love myself unconditionally as a gay man. The shame and self-hatred are gone. It's an amazing feeling to finally be at peace with myself. The journey was difficult, but I was able to prevail through honesty, persistence, and hard work.

 

I've come out to my family and friends. (Most of) my friends have agreed to call me by my preferred name. My parents are working toward using my pronouns. I can't really say much about my sexuality because it's not actually a very big thing in my life...I mean, I'm completely out as liking girls but being panromantic but nobody really cares as much because the whole being-a-boy news kind of smashes it.

 

I'm enjoying being who I am more than ever before. I'm happy to have come to the decision that what I need is a long-term relationship in my life. And I've met a guy and maybe this will turn into something long term. And yesterday I had great sex with a guy. A very attractive guy who pushed all my erotic buttons. It was anonymous sex, but it was good, honest, life affirming sex and I was on a high for hours afterwards.

 

I have found myself, and now know what it is to be human. I am in full touch with my emotions, which at one point I thought were completely lost. I have reprioritized my life around things that are important, rather than things that are trivial. I have become content, confident and love myself. I walk past mirrors, look at myself, and always smile. I have found the empathy and sympathy that I once had in my youth but at some point locked away.

The journey has its challenges. Lots of ups and downs. Stay committed and focused, and open up to finding yourself.

 

Aside from my broken heart and my lack of bi-expression (ie. sexual frustration), my life is actually very good. I have two beautiful, thriving children and a loving husband, we're in great financial standing and I have supportive family and friends.

If and when there comes a day when I come out to my husband, he will definitely have a hard time accepting it. I feel pretty confident that my children, friends and family will be supportive, though.

In all honesty, I am grateful for my life--with or without J. And I like this post because I think it's important for us all to count our blessings. Life will always be full of struggles.

 

I am much, much less anxious than I had been. I am feeling much less prone to depression as well. I also have a better sense of my self. Although there's a lot of adjusting, I don't have that weird nagging feeling that something just isn't right in the same way I did for so long. Many of the relationships (of all sorts, not just sexual) make more sense to me in how they unfolded. I've been dating a guy for a year and a half and it's been fun.

 

Well, there is one of your own positives!

 

As to why there are more stories here about the difficulty and sadness, I will say that from my own experience I am of course here less often than when I was in crisis mode. It was a good place for me to do that during that time. I'm know that I am not alone in that, since I don't always see some of the same folks here when I was here a lot. I have read people "graduating from EC", and it's true that when you have moved into more acceptance and past some of the immediate pain and trauma that can come with ending previous, straight relationships, there's less need to discuss these feelings that are no longer new.

I always did like to see the people who popped back in, even people who I didn't know from when I was most needing support. It let me know that it will be ok, that many of the negative feelings will pass, even though it might not have felt that way at the time.

 

Great idea. Happy thread!

I love my gay side. I have been exploring as many aspects of it that I can. Friendship, sex, community, theater (no lied there), shopping (bigger lie). Being out has allowed me to feel almost everything with more intensity and honesty. I think that a secret buried so deep can keep a lot of other feelings buried with it.

 

well, lets see. over the past 2+ years, I've come out to myself, my son, parents, sibs, officially on Facebook, and at work regarding my sexuality. And, I've started on the journey to discover the parameters of my gender(s), and I've gotten divorced from an abusive marriage.

 

I'm at the beginning of, what seems, a long journey....however, the positive is that I'm on it.
I don't think, no....I KNOW I cant go backwards any more. In my mind the cat is well and truly out of the bag, no escape.