So hard to meet men when you 52

Welcome to EC~

Congrats on coming out to yourself, but hey don't give up because you don't have a "beach body", as you say. Some guys don't mind and some even prefer it that way. You can still meet someone even if you're not perfect.

Have you tried any ( gay ) dating apps? I haven't personally given it a go but they probably work well.

It's nice to meet you ^^

 

I think there are plenty of opportunities if you are aiming your sights in the right places. But apps and bars full of 20 year olds may just bring disappointment.

There are plenty of people like you and there are LGBT groups where you are likely to find people in your own age group in a non-sexualised setting. Meetup.com groups; theatre groups, swimming or walking groups; dining groups; Also respectable dating websites exist for people 'of a certain age'.

So don't be defeated so soon .. And get out there!!

 

Echo…Echo…Echo… Yeah, what bingostring posted!

As a 50-year old bi male, with a strong preference for men, just coming out of the closet, I can relate closely to your concerns. While I rarely had enough self-esteem to consider that I might have a ‘beach body,’ I was in the military and have always been very fit (though I was never a gym rat by any means – I HATE gyms and exercising indoors). I recently went to a local gay club because I felt like exposing myself to some LGBTQ culture and I occasionally like electronic music in a dance club. I’ve been to LGBTQ clubs before, but usually with (straight) friends to enjoy the music and dancing. This was the first time I went alone. I wasn’t looking for anything more than to observe and have a good time. I’m not interested in ‘hook ups’ or any type of casual sex, but I DO want to find someone with whom I can have a long-term relationship. (And I certainly wasn’t expecting to find anything like a long-term relationship partner at the club.) However, while I was sitting at a table off to the side of the club, a young guy in his 20’s came up and sat directly across from me at my table. He spent over 5 minutes looking around, but never making eye-contact with me and fumbling with his cell phone (cute and understandable that he was nervous). Long story short, it was obvious to me in the first minute where this was headed and I didn’t want him to waste his time. (He was very cute, but, again, I wasn’t looking for a ‘hook up.’ And given that he was half my age, I saw zero possibility for a long-term relationship. Although, I was more than happy to just talk to him, if that’s what he wanted and I didn’t want to be rude.) So, after he finally made eye contact, I introduced myself (to be polite) and I told him I was waiting for someone. He looked disappointed, but after about 5 minutes (which I assume he thought was an appropriate time so as not to offend me – personally, he could have left right then and there and I wouldn’t have been offended, but I appreciated the gesture), he left the table. I guess my point with this story is that you never know until/unless you put yourself out there.

I also have a couple gay friends who are my age and older whom I have asked for advice about this. The main feedback I get is to just be social and find places or people I enjoy hanging out with while keeping my eyes peeled for ‘possible’ friends. Some of those could turn out to be relationships. Now, granted, they are somewhat biased because they normally hang out with people they already know are LGBTQ and LGBTQ-friendly. Most of the places I hang out are not so black-and-white, if you will. But I understand what my friends are trying to tell me. In fact, one of my friends took me to a local gay-friendly bar last week that is more my style and I saw young, middle-age and older gay and straight couples and just friends hanging out together without the seemingly pervasive sexual innuendo of the gay clubs I’ve visited. That was super nice! But other suggestions they made that I liked are volunteering at a local LGBTQ center. And looking online for local LGBTQ groups to join – support groups, book reading groups, hiking groups, etc. Where you can simply establish yourself better in the LGBT community and the circles of people that may be more compatible for a relationship for your.

I also looked at the online dating apps. I decided against them after extensive research and hearing stories from friends (many of which were kinda ‘horror’ stories to me, at least in terms of the outcomes; in many cases my friends thought the online dating apps were great and got what they wanted from them, but none of them had an experience along the lines I am looking for).

Just some thoughts…

Good luck!