I had been doing good in keeping my distance with the only woman I know. A bit of a history, we were friends until my husband initiated a threesome. I always questioned my orientation and begged my husband not to go there as I grew up in a homophobic environment. I hit rock bottom and eventually accepted myself and now am content. Oh what a roller coaster ride it had been! Back to now: I had been distancing myself from her because she is toxic for me and my marriage. I did well until she is back to binge drinking and it is when she is drunk that she wants me intimately. I fell for her, but it has always been fun and adventure for her and nothing more. I know nothing will come out of the relationship, and staying away from her is best. I have read that it is best not to go back to what broke us. But why do I keep going back to her? I give in so easy, basically because she is the only woman I know. . . I don't know anymore. . . I feel so frustrated because even though my marriage is going well, and my husband accepts me for who I am but there is an emptiness, incompleteness that I can't handle at times and that's when I go back to her. . . blagh, I feel so lost
