Guys, First of all, I'm sorry. I feel like I constantly come on here and vent but don't do enough replying to others in return. I'll try my best to return the favor more often. As the title says, today is not a good day. There have been a few things happening leading to all this, it's a little long so please bear with me. A few months ago life was great, I finally recognized who I am as a person, as a gay man. I was excelling at work and I was working on furthering my education. Then just out of no where, all of that tumbled down. I made a big mistake at work which cost me a promotion, school became too much so I quit for what I keep telling myself is temporary (however it doesn't feel that way), and I'm back to the internal struggle of who I am. For one, it's maddening. I feel awful for everything that's going on and even worse because there really isn't anyone to talk to about so that I can let some of this stuff go and move on. Everyone here has always been so helpful and I hope that you guys can come to my rescue again. I've never felt this way, and honestly, it scares me. I think this is depression but I'm not sure, all I know is that it's pretty awful. Anything helps! Kyboan
Hey Kyboan Sounds like a pretty rough time. You know you have a lot on your plate here. Coming to terms with your sexuality, a demanding job, wife, kid, and school? OMG! Cut yourself some slack! I went through a rough time in the last year. For me, it was more mid-aged stuff (health, demanding job etc). On top of that, same as you, I had to deal with the reality that my sexual orientation is a big part of me and needed to be expressed. It is a lot to take in. I used one part of my life I could control that felt kept be grounded. For me it was bike riding. Every day I could just to something that didn't require any emotional effort. You may have something like that. Find it. It may be the time you spend with your kid...just be in the moment with him. It could be some sort of exercise as it is for me. Music. Meditation. Take a moment and just listen to your breathing as you lie in the sun. You don't need to get everything worked out at once. Take it one step at a time.
Hi kyboan, I'm sorry that you are going through such a rough patch. But nothing lasts forever. Not even bad luck. As Nickw said: You can only control the things in front of you right now. If you do that, you can get a handle back on your life. Try to find something positive in each thing that happens to you. That can help improve your mood. I know that can sometimes be hard, but there is usually something positive somewhere in all the muck. I wish you only the best! Take Care. Stay strong!
I hope things become clearer for you soon and you can get back to feeling good. Dealing on your own is never easy. But I totally understand how you feel. My life was always complicated yet over the past months some things have happened around me that have added to that in a massive way. Like, life changing things that trounce all over everything that was going on before. It makes me feel selfish that my own issues even enter my head with so much else happening. Yet they're all still there and still need to be addressed - at some point. It's overwhelming and, like you, I have no one to talk to or confide in. So I get how you feel and some days it feels like too much - and then I remember I'm totally gay too! UGH! Not much advice to offer, but you're definitely not alone.
kyboan sorry you've hit a rough patch. I had a similar triple whammy like you had not to long ago and am still working through; it seems to come in waves sometimes. I remember the anxiousness of wanting to fix it all right away but Like Nick said above we need to take it one day and one thing at a time. As I work through these things that take awhile I make a point to enjoy at least one thing a day; like a moment with my kids or just a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. Then I think of one thing for which I am grateful. With both I try to really be present in that moment and realize what's good at that moment. Take care
