Hello, I'm 62 years old, and you read that right, 40 years of hiding in the closet. I am a child of the 1960's & 70's. A dramatic time when knowing I was attracted to guys. Having known I was gay since I was in my early teens and had not only a boyfriend, but several sex partners as well. All this time, having to keep it extremely quiet because the times they were in the Midwest would either get you arrested, institutionalized or dead. I am a survivor of bullying, from first grade all the way to high school, because the guys figured out I was gay and beat the crap out of me a number of times. I could never go to my parents, that would only make the problem worse. My mother did discover that I was gay, by finding my journals, reading them, then destroying them. Then she beat the living hell out of me for it. I still have the scars on my back, butt and legs from that beating. I was 16 years old at that time. So I buried it. I married at 20. After 8 years of marriage (and thinking we would never have children) our son was born, followed by our daughter 13 months later. At 46, (26 years of marriage) my wife asked me if I was gay. It took a hell of a lot to admit it to her. Although it didn't make any difference, I had been faithful to her all these years, I was not about to change that. We were married for another 14 1/2 years, until Feb. 3, 2015. Just two weeks prior to this date, my wife called me to her and told me it was time for me to be myself. To come out of the closet and live my life as an openly gay man. That February 3rd of 2015, I said goodbye to my wife as she painfully died in my arms. (I am telling you the truth, my wife died.) I came out one month later. Coming out has not been easy. My daughter accepts me for being gay. My son does not. I have six grandchildren between my children. Each have three. My son will not let me see my grandsons and wants nothing to do with me. My daughter is totally the opposite. The only one of my family that accepts me is my twin sister, but then she told me she had always known I was gay. What remaining relatives I have (most are already dead, as are my parents) do not accept me at all. A few months after my wife died, I met a wonderful guy. I have to say that I was blessed because he is now my husband. He knows that I am still emptying out that damn closet. I am still discovering who I am. There has been so much of myself I have had to hide for so long, I am a work in progress to learn who I am. Knowing that I am not alone in this struggle helps a lot. The biggest problem I have is making other gay friends. The only gay person I really know is my husband. Neither one of us party or go clubbing. I don't even drink or smoke. My husband will have an occasional drink, but he has to do all the driving as I am legally blind. Anyway, that's my story. Thanks for listening.
Hi Willie, Thanks for sharing your amazing story. I'm 47 and came out to my wife almost 3 months ago. I applaud you for staying in your marriage despite how difficult it must have been for you. I reached a point where I knew that I had to leave the marriage, and we are starting the process for divorce. I'm fortunate to have my 2 kids not really care that I'm gay. The divorce and separation are their main concerns.
Your story leaves me damn near speechless. I feel less alone. Thank you for surviving and prevailing now, all this time later.
What an amazing story. I'm so sorry that life threw such horrible moments at you, but glad you have a wonderful husband now.
What a lovely, but difficult story. I'm so pleased you are now living the way you always wanted. Happy endings are awesome x
Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on marrying your husband! Thank you also for coming out, you are helping move our society toward better understanding of LGBT people. I think you are awesome.
I don't post often on these forums but I read almost every post and story. Quite a few touch me but this is probably one of the few times I've felt both happy and deeply saddened at the same time. It's the ultimate bitter-sweet. I'm sorry it's been so hard for so long, but if you can find happiness now you must (and deserve to) take it despite everything and everyone that's standing in your way. I'm only in my 30s but reading posts like yours makes me see how important it is to keep trying to make it through. Maybe it's not too late after all.
Your story brought tears to my eyes, Willie, especially the part where your wife gave her deathbed blessing for you to come out. What a wonderful, wonderful woman she must have been! I have not encountered nearly the hardships you have in my life — in fact, I've had a rather easy time of it — but only this afternoon, I was chatting with another man at the beach and I told him that this phase — my being out — is the happiest time of my life. I hope and believe that the same is true for you. May you have many more happy years with your husband, surrounded by gay and gay-affirming family and friends!
I am really touched by your story...i am happy you found your husband... Your son will come around! Give him some time.. Lots of love... Jerry
That is a truly inspirational story...I still have challenges at 48....so reading about older people tackling the issues of their youth inspires me...It occurs to me that like me you have taken up the challenges that you avoided as a youth....bravo:eusa_clap...it is a little victory isn't it....I sometimes wonder to myself whether it isn't to late to tackle things at my age....but then I think that embracing your truth is a fulfillment of life itself: age isn't or shouldnt be an issue. So sad that not everybody has appreciated your victory: You deserve a medal...
