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Obsessive about my looks

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Jerry36, Sep 18, 2016.

  1. Jerry36

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    I am in a bad place right now.I know i seem horrebly shallow right now but this is whats on my mind for years now.....i dont think i am attractive and that makes me feel depressed sometimes. I know its horrible and shallow but i cant help it. I am afraid to go out there and trying to get a relationship with a guy i really like because i cant take the Rejection.

    i guess there is a huge gap between the way i want to look and the way i percieve myself, and its sucks.

    And now that i m balding makes things way worse...its really stressful and depressing.

    I think its partly because of my early youth. I figured it was easier for people to accept me being gay if i was found very Attractive.
    Sometimes on apps when you send a guy more pictures and they dont reply?....it hurts.

    It really makes you doubt andhate yourself...
     
  2. QuestionMark99

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    We can't help how we feel, it's not horrible or shallow, but do try to not let it bring you down. But I do get it and totally understand. I feel it too - all the time.

    I will say though, that while I seem to hold myself to impossible standards and imagine others would as well, I don't do the same for everyone else. In fact, I can pretty much find something attractive in anyone. I don't have a type and quite often it's the sorta totally average, sometimes even a bit odd people that I fancy most. To be honest, that imagine of perfection that you see sometimes that all the young guys on the apps are trying to emulate, I find it a little bit boring. Looks good but no real interest. Sometimes the guy that's balding is the one I'd like to know more about. Especially if he's got a nice personality to go with it.
     
  3. crazydog15

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    While of course I don't know 100% how you're feeling, I used to be really worried about my looks, too. Eventually, I realized it wasn't my looks that I was ashamed of or worried about; it was my sexuality.
     
  4. OnTheHighway

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    I firmly believe a person's self image is directly correlated to their self esteem and level of confidence. Beauty is not about six packs, thin figures, and chiselled cheek bones. It's about internal peace and loving yourself. When you reach a point of improved self esteem and loving yourself, I bet you will see your confidence improve. A natural glow occurs and that glow does attract others where others will the see the beauty in you.

    Why do I believe this? Because at one point in time I was you. I did not like my appearance. Today, I have opened myself to hear all the compliments I get (and most definitely previously ignored or rejected).

    I love whom I have become and I look in the mirror and see a great looking guy. And I have never had a six pack; just the typical middle aged Dad bod like so many others!
     
    #4 OnTheHighway, Sep 19, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016