I always thought that my husband and I had a good relationship. We were a good team. We have similar goals and interests and have built a good life together. But he has always been one of those guys who always wanted sex, and I was one of those people who didn't. I thought it would get better as we got more comfortable with each other, or after we got married, but now, after 13 years of marriage I think it is horrible for him. He has basically given up asking for it, which makes him miserable, frustrated, and angry. I have felt pressured to have sex for the 15 years that we've been together and still feel guilty because I can't (or won't, as he sees it) give him what he wants/needs. I have never been comfortable having sex with him, although I'll put out as best I can (which I'll admit is not very interactive). The more I read posts on here I realize how important sex is to other people and it is making me feel even more badly for my husband. I know I find women attractive, which might be my reason for not loving sex with my husband. If I were able to satisfy him sexually i might be fine with repressing my attraction to women. But I think my inaction is actually hurting us both
It is so hard to love someone but not be interested in having sex with them. You try a million ways, go through with it anyway, and end up feeling sad and resentful. It sounds like you've gotten to the point where you can't even have "maintenence sex" with him to keep him satisfied, and that's difficult. Sex is important, and it's not shallow of him to desire it with his partner (I think you know that) Have you both talked about it? What possible solutions have you come up with? People here are good at helping you think through ideas, I've found. Best of luck to you.
