Lifeless. I am the kind of woman who rarely falls in love. I guess I've always been very independent. But then when I meet a kindred spirit, I fall super hard. I hadn't had feelings for anyone in the longest time. Like years and years. And then I met this woman and she turned my whole life inside out. And now it seems I have to go on without her. I've had amazing connections with people in this life, but the one with her, in many ways, felt the best ever. I don't understand how it can be tolerable from her side to have us be apart like this. I hope one day I can understand how that's possible. Because for me, it's like I'm in pure survival mode. I don't know how to move on and get my life back. Of course, I know the normal stuff - like exercise, join a new group, play a sport, take up a hobby, blah blah blah. But nothing is sticking. I feel so weak on the inside. Really utterly destroyed at this loss. Has anyone experienced this kind of thing and if so, how did you recover? Thanks :icon_sad:
Yes! Yes! And yes! It's tough. First of all, this is going to sound corny, but what is your astrological sign? I'm interested in that stuff. Secondly, nothing really takes the feelings away for me. While in therapy, I've learned you have to sit with them. People can tell you everything in the world, like time will heal it, you'll move on, forget her, and all that stuff...but that advice never takes the weight off of it for me and sometimes compounds it. I've leaned in therapy, to sit with it. Accept the sadness. You're in mourning because this is a loss to you. You're in gried mode. If you've accepted the fact that it's over and are no longer ruminating on what could have been, you'll begin to find pockets of happiness. Build on this, slowly. Take care of yourself at all other times. Have a good cry, watch a funny movie, indulge in a little ice cream. It's hard to think of it now, but your life was good before her. It will be good again, I promise. I can't answer what she's feeling, but what's important is how you're doing. I am very picky when it comes to friends and romantic interests. I've had three serious crushes on women in my life, so when that woman comes along that I do like, I hold on and having to let go...it hurts so bad. With my trigger crush, it was 1.5 years of agony to move on past her. It was awful. I'm heartbroken again, but to a lesser extent. I have to remember, if I can get over my teigger crush, I can get over anyone. I look back at how devastated I was with my trigger and how I thought I'd never find anyone like her again. And while I haven't had an intensely strong connection to anyone else, like I've had with her, I have had other connections fulfilling in other ways. The first woman I was "physical" with helped that last bit of healing over my trigger. If was that push I needed. You will find someone else out there. It will happen. When this door closes, another will open. In the mean time, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to take your time to heal. It's better that way, so when you do overcome this, you'll be even stronger. I guarantee you'll find another woman. I mean, you found her and you didn't know you could connect to someone so deeply. Another is on her way. I promise.
Hi there! I can sympathize. I fall hard too. I think you just need to take time. I'm dealing with some really heavy losses lately (not in relationships, but the most devastating was the suicide of my brother) so I've found the only thing that helps is just giving myself permission to feel the pain and work through it. You're experiencing grief, and grief works on its own timetable. You have to let it work through you. That's the only way. I think I saw that you live in Miami. I'm about two hours north of you. Give yourself the time you need. That's what I had to do for myself, in my situation. I think that's really the only way. (( hugs )) Rosa
