I'm 62 and just coming to terms with the fact that I may be gay. Lots of confusion, fear, and just not knowing what to do or how to do it. Looking for advice...
Hey there, You'll find lots of helpful info in the threads of this sub-forum. If you are comfortable sharing a bit more of your story, it will make it easier for people to give you specific advice. There are many people on here who have been in your position, of coming out later in life, so you are among friends. Welcome to EC
I agree, please tell us more about yourself and your struggles. At your age, you may be in a straight marriage, perhaps with kids who are now adults, maybe you even have grandchildren. Please know that you are not alone. There are many people here who have gone through the same types of struggles as you. Not only will telling your story in more detail give all of us a better ability to help you, it may help you as well to clarify your thoughts.
I have been married for 41 years, no children. I have always felt that I was different or maybe not quite right. I have had four gay sexual encounters since i was 18, the last one nearly 30 years ago. It was such a strong experience that it scared hell out of me. My wife & I haven't had sex for a long time, and frankly, I find myself thinking more about males anyway.
I've just passed my 20th anniversary and I have two kids. It's hard for me to admit it, but I haven't had successful sex with my wife in about 10 years. The last time I tried was about 4 years ago. I was able to have sex in those early years just fine, but as the years went on, my ability to stay erect during intercourse just diminished over that time. There are only so many times I could take a failed sexual experience. Of course I still masturbated, and thought about my gay fantasies, and would include gay porn as well. Even though you are no longer having sex with your wife, do you still masturbate? Is this when you are "thinking more about males anyway"? I, too, had sexual experiences in my younger years. However, I was deeply closeted and in denial of what these experiences truly meant to me. Feeling stuck and unsure of what to do is very difficult, and I struggled for almost two years in that place. Please keep reading here on EC, and keep posting. The more you write about yourself, the more we will all comment, and the more you may gain insight into your thinking and hopefully come to a real resolution for you. Take care.
What are your fears and what is confusing you the most? I'm sure you are thinking that it's too late to deal with all of this, but I promise you, it's not. The changing attitudes towards homosexuality, that are taking place across the world are emboldening more and more people who have lived a closeted existence for many years. Maybe your time has finally arrived? Tell us what you are thinking and we'll see if we can help you out.