You know, I can't agree with this article. It's true that most women have very intense friendships with other women, some of which seem "romantic", but most women still have no romantic interest in their friends. Take it from someone who falls for their best friend constantly, I get rejected 100% of the time. So do men, which is why you have the dreaded "friendzone" concept, even when their passions are straight. Most women just aren't wired to want to date or sleep with their best friends, they only want us early on before the friendship. Their romantic gestures toward us to them is purely a sisterly thing. It sucks. It really does. The author is lucky if she notices cases that are exceptions to this, but this has never been my experience, regardless of how the woman sexually identifies.
I am finding the same. I am the sort of person for whom friendships turn into potential romances. None of my friends are. And the woman I met on a dating website with a view to friendship/possible romance has placed me very firmly in the friendship category. It's good to have a close friend who is gay, I only had one before and she moved away. However it's not what I set out to find. I keep seeing her (although not as frequently as when we were potentially dating), because she is a good kind woman who is immensely fun to be with, and we always have a good time together. Plus she has a wide circle of friends and relatives who are lesbians, so I might meet someone by association. However it can be very hard at times.
I agree with you two ^, the majority are not interested in other women, they are just not. Full stop.
Hi Orchidea! I enjoyed this article. I think my scenario and what you have experienced fits pretty well. I've been hearing a lot about passionate friendships and intense friendships. It takes time and patience on the part of both friends. But the deeper connection is very fulfilling...even though during the initial stages, it can be frustrating as well. I love this: "To hell with Fifty Shades Of Grey — think of the fifty shades of human emotions, in all their complexity." That is beautiful~ And just a side note; since I talked to my fireball last month about meeting halfway, she has totally stepped it up I think the other two posters are correct, women don't want their best friends.They want sweet, but no mr. nice guy. I would never treat my regular friends this way. The dynamic has to be edgier if you're seeking the physical connection. I still may not get it right...it's a difficult balance. I really agree with the view that sexuality can be fluid. And it would be super fun to have a warm cuddly snuggle-buddy
Really glad all of you clicked the link to read.. Glad you enjoyed it and got some thoughts rolling. I enjoy searching out there, in the wilderness of the Internet. I often catch myself on a hopeful thought that magically, by search, I will find the 'it' answer to my deepest thoughts, feelings, emotions. -That there is a magic potion or a recipe to arrange everything in its own place for me. And, I REALLY NEED that recipe! But this is off the topic.. Despite pockets of unfinished thoughts and ideas, this article sort of inspired me. It gave me hope that my situation is normal, common, historically acceptable. I agree, it is sorta too good to be true: describing this perfectly sensual female world of emotional and romantic closeness within friendship. But I choose to fall for this text, as it gives me hope. Women like I existed, exist, and will exist. Somehow this article gave me such an uplifting feeling, that there is a future to what is developing within me. I totally agree that not many women may feel this way their friends - none of my friends did, to the best of my knowledge. Frankly speaking, if any of my friends ever did, I may have been uncomfortable ( yeah I know, truly later in life revelations). But, I don't look back at my past life. Last year and a half has been a brand new chapter, even though hardly anyone who knows me will notice.. Thinking of her but keep moving forward, living on, reading on. ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2016 at 11:04 PM ---------- Friesian, so glad your fireball is listening to you - glad she is stepping up! Agree with everything you say here. I guess another reason why this article caught my attention is because I don't know how it is to sleep with a woman, but I know how it is to feel love for one. Wish you luck with your fireball :love:
The interesting thing is, I know what it is like to sleep with a woman, but not with a woman I have been in love with. I loved her, but it was something that just happened between us and I tried to make it a relationship instead of me just being curious - but that ended after a year or so. I've never been in love with someone who was also in love with me - I've either had them chasing me or I chasing them with no reciprocation either way. I went back to dating guys but got fed up and stopped completely when I realized I wasn't feeling any emotional connection with them. Finally, at this point in my life, I have accepted that I am demisexual, interested mainly in women. It's good to hear you speak of yourself with confidence as you are learning more about yourself - like all of us here - and finding terms to describe how you're feeling. I think maybe you're onto something with the 'recipe' you talked about. But it's a recipe only you can write Searching terms like fluidity shows you are are really diving in and exploring the feelings and thoughts you are experiencing and showing no fear of introspection. That's fantastic! And fluidity can explain a lot but I think these terms are new, and many people who don't have the same problems, (i.e. they know exactly who they are and what they want) don't lend much credit to fluidity, demi, pan, etc. I could be wrong but it just seems that way. Maybe people just don't understand it. I don't understand the over sexualized culture we live in - and how could it possibly understand asexuality? I'm with you, I'd rather have tempered optimism that what/who we're looking for is indeed out there, rather than throw in the towel and slip slowly into the deep blue funk. I've been there - and it freakin' sucks! People get what they want out there in the world ever day - let's keep working on our recipe until we get it right
