I get so confused when trying to talk to people saying "im a girl, your a girl, he is a boy, he is a girl" I have no idea what pronoun is mine yet. So to be simple and to the point. I have a vagina. LOL And I like boys. I assumed, that because I liked boys, then whatever, I am straight, and always will be. I married, and had a daughter, (marriage ended in divorce, unrelated reasons) I am 32 now. My daughter is 13, and discovering herself, and is bi-curious for now, she doesn't know if that is permanent. I am so proud of her for how open she is, and accepting of all her classmates as well as herself. Her honesty and that of her friends, got me thinking about my own sexuality again. I still like boys. I mean, I dont mean to be vulgar, but i dont think i could live without the D lol. But I do feel like i am a really crappy girl. i dont mean that I am being down on myself, I mean i suck at being a girl. ive tried for years. and i just cant do it well. i dont like makeup. i like my hair short. in highschool i was frequently called a lesbian (and worse im sure you all know) because of how i dressed. and my voice. my voice is so deep! I love to sing, and I can sing all the way down to baritone, even some high bass. (but i can also go to 2nd soprano. i love my voice lol) My deep speaking voice, matched with my short hair, boss jeans, vans, and skateboard, i was clearly a 'tom boy' but i wonder if it was more than that. I am so uncomfortable in my body. I am overweight, and assumed it was because of that, but i dont think so. I am just so confused. So i guess I am asking, is it possible to be BOTH. like, I am transgender, FTM, but even if i were a boy, I would still like boys. and more than that, I like gay guys most of all. the more feminine guys WOW so much writing. sorry! Ok. thank you for your time! (&&&)
It's absolutely possible for "straight" people to be trans. I'm a trans woman who's mostly lesbian. Sexuality and gender identity are very separate things.
That makes me feel better. Thank you. I was worried I was wrong, and confused myself even more lol. Like, how can my feelings be wrong!? You know? Its just a weird feeling. I feel like i should have been born a boy. But I like boys. So it threw me off a little as far as my identity goes. a friend of mine is MtF and she has never had any doubts, and is so confident! I wish i could be that sure.
I am kinda going through the same questioning phase you are. I haven't always known(or it was a deep down thing maybe?), but looking back, I'm honestly surprised it took so long. So many thoughts, etc that I've had since I was a kid, I just waved off as innocent. Turns out no, they weren't, they were signs trying to smack me in the face. I mean, I like guys too, and want to sleep with one eventually(as a woman this time) after surgery, but I vastly prefer women. Dating and even marrying a guy isn't out of the question, but most likely I'll end up with a woman. Also, your gender is backwards. Female(Trans) implies MtF, Male(Trans) is FtM.
oooh Ill fix that. sorry. I have never learned any of these things yet lol. That makes a lot of sense, and I do think you should give it a shot when you do have your vagina! it really is a good feeling even though you will want a woman later. wanna know a secret? I hate anal :eek: haha. so either i learn, or im screwed. (or not screwed)
Sadly, I'm still pre-everything, but I WILL get there. Anal is.....weird. I liked it, at the time, but looking back it was more painful than pleasurable. I think it gets better after the first couple times, supposedly.
Oh honey Im actually probably about 2 hours into all these thoughts and confusions. Literally. Just this night. I mean, its always been in the back of my mind. But this is the first time i sat down, looked at myself and said "wtf dude what am I" Anal is definitely weird. I dont mind fingers, especially during climax, but anal sex, its just too much. it is way more painful than pleasurable. it was like 15 years ago that i tried it, and i still haven't tried a second time lol. so i have no idea if it gets better. ---------- Post added 4th Oct 2016 at 09:33 PM ---------- I am doing a LOT of reading. And it seems it may be possible for me to find what I am looking for without having to make much change to myself. I never considered the possibility of being a straight female with a 'gayish bisexual' man. (if that even makes sense) that may be where I fall. Or maybe im just meh, whatever, sexual is sexual. ugh. i keep forgetting that I dont have to figure this all out right away.
I was doing great until I started shopping for clothes....so confusing. Looks like I'll be doing some measuring....
Hehe yeah. clothes are one of the reasons that i sometimes DONT identify as female. I hate clothes. i have 3 pairs of jeans, a couple shirts, and plain tennishoes. i alternate them, and wash as needed. lol nothing else wanted god im such a dude. its one of the reasons i always just called my self a tomboy as a teen. ---------- Post added 4th Oct 2016 at 11:04 PM ---------- The more i think about it all late at night (sorry just using this thread as my ramblings) I may not need to have surgery. I mean, there are men out there who wouldnt mind being with a trans man who still has a vagina, right? i mean there are all kinds of people, with all kinds of options, especially bi men. But i was thinking about it, i will ALWAYS be a bottom. even with hetero sex i never topped, in any way. i will always be the submissive little thing I am, girl or boy, whether or not i have surgery, and what have you. so maybe it wouldnt even be an issue if i never need a penis. and there are always toys if my partner wants it. just musings.
I love clothes though. I'm going to get a lot eventually. I really can not wait to see what I look like!(bring on the hormones!) You're doing great too. And men's clothes are easy. Find your size, buy one in each color, and you're good.:lol:
oooh god the colors *groans* lol ive actually been dressing pretty Asexually for most of my life anyway. everything I own could be either male or female labled. every now and then i would have a more male look. and when the occasion called for it, (wedding anyone?) i looked appropriately girly. but i didnt enjoy it lol
I can't wait to wear a dress! And a skirt, and a bikini, and leggings as pants, and short shorts....I think I'll just stick to jeans and cute tops until I start to actually LOOK like a girl. I can't wait to start HRT, but I'm a long way off. Sigh...
Lol I cant wait to be able to wear shorts and no top at the beach and not have to worry about it! im overweight, and its much more acceptable for guys than it is for girls.
Ef that, I'm finding a topless beach!:lol: Maybe even a full nude one after surgery. Also, American Eagle has a super cute pair of leggings for like $10. I want every color!
Maybe they'd let me do some implied nudity..... And yes, the leggings. I'll order those eventually(funds are short right now).
