I suppose it depends exactly how you define coming out. If you define it as sitting everyone down and telling them your important news or writing people a heartfelt letter then no it's not you don't have to do any of that. However if you define it more as informing people you are interested in same sex relationships whether that be exclusively or as well as straight ones then even if you are not planning to say the words, introducing your new girlfriend, bring her home or just being seen out with her could in itself be a form of coming out. That is unless you are planning to live the gay part of your life in complete secret which I'm not sure I would recommend. Coming out is a personal thing and you have to chose what is right for you.
No. It's every individual's choice. It's necessary for some people to, but if you don't want to, you don't have to. It's all about what makes you happy.
As baconpox said, it is individual for everyone and we are all unique. For me, it was totally necessary, and it became an imperative for me. By the time I came out, being in the closet was harming me, physically, mentally, emotionally. Sometimes the only way out is out. I had reached a point of no longer caring what other people are going to think of me, and that was the final break that I needed. That was my experience, but it's not yours. What is it that blocks you?
I totally agree with this answer. I didn´t plan on coming out when I did. But it was harming me too. I couldn´t anymore. I did not have a choice if I wanted to continue with my life. But no story is the same. Everyone should do what is right for them.
Perhaps it is not the best question. Perhaps the better question is, simply: what is staying in the closet doing to my life? It's living in the closet that creates the necessity for most of us who took that step...if remaining hidden has no effect on your life, then indeed, there is no urgent necessity to come out...but on the other hand, if living as you are is important to you, and to the ones close to you, then you have a decision to make. Perhaps the best question then, is: To what extent do you value living with integrity, with harmony between who you are inside and out?
This ^^^ for sure! I HAD to come out to various people. My mind was imploding. I guess it depends on how much of a thinker you are. I over think way too much.
It's hard to resist overthinking. LOL. But, yeah, don't overanalyse or overthink things. It's draining. It's not necessary but it depends what's important for you or what you want to achieve. I didn't feel the NEED to come out to my family. They still do not know up to now and it's no big deal to me. I came out to my then-boyfriend who's my husband now. Nowadays, I simply express myself at work or my friends what I prefer whenever topic about sexuality spring up. What they see or hear from me is what they get. I do not have to explain.
No. The reality is its no ones business unless YOU want to make it anyone elses business. Thats just the plain truth.
“Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better” ― Harvey Milk
we are each different, coming out is one of the most personal things anyone will ever do. coming out to yourself is important but who, outside of your head/heart you share with is your choice and no one else's. I told the people who are important to me and then when I felt it necessary I did it on Face Book, then after Orlando I came out at work. but that's me and your path will, no doubt, be different in any number of ways. (*hug*)
I'm afraid to even talk to anyone else about it besides my husband and therapist. If I mention it to anyone else, it becomes more real. Then I'll never be able to look them in the face if I choose to maintain the status quo (married to a man) because I know that they know I'm living a lie. While I'm still closeted I can still question in safety, but it is extremely isolating.
ImHO, how you deal with and what to tell folks (friends, family, etc.) is ENTIRELY your choice. If you feel uncomfortable coming out to whomever then you don't do it (trust your gut). You are in this forum, so i trust you are capable of making your own decisions. Your choices are just that. Make your personal choices, then OWN what you've chosen!!!
I feel like I came out to myself in the last few months. Since then, I've told my mom and my younger sister. I just couldn't take it anymore and it really bothered me when they would innocently say I should date this guy or that guy. That's only two people but I did feel better after. Like by telling them what I was thinking I was also being more honest with myself. That's just me though. Many, many, many more people to go. And many more steps... What are your thoughts?
While I agree with the other posters who said that coming out is an individual's choice, I strongly feel that, with a few exceptions, most everyone will benefit by being out, especially in terms of their mental health. The exceptions, for me, are minors who have reasonable grounds to expect rejection from their families and who are dependent on those families for their housing, education, etc. I would also allow a limited exemption for people whose livelihood might be threatened should they come out in the workplace (especially in states that have no legal protections for LGBT persons). I think the reason LGBT rights have advanced so far and so quickly in recent years is primarily because so many people have come out, and at younger and younger ages. As the quote from Harvey Milk I posted above makes clear, it's only when the average straight person realizes that it's their son or daughter, cousin or aunt, friend or neighbor that is gay that opinions change and prejudice withers.
