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getting there

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by KSatt, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. KSatt

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    I still haven't come out to anyone, but at 34 I've finally accepted myself for who I am. I think I went through maybe a period of almost shock right after I joined this site. It was like, "Okay, it's out there. No going back now." The thing is, now that my mind has settled a bit, I find I don't want to go back. In fact, I have a new sense of confidence and maybe even a little swagger that wasn't there before. I've made some changes in my life that needed to be made. I had dinner with a couple of friends last night and one of them said I looked really good and asked what I was doing. I think I just carry myself differently. I'm comfortable with who I am. I like who I am. I may not yet be where I hope to get, but I'm taking baby steps. I'm moving in the right direction.
     
  2. Really

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    Good for you. :slight_smile:
    That all sounds about right. :thumbsup:
     
  3. Keith83

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    Hey Ksatt,
    I'm a year younger than you but I've only really accepted myself as bisexual in I suppose the last year or maybe even less. Hard to describe but just didn't really categorise myself as bi even though I knew I'd feelings for guys etc. But I totally know what you mean. Even just accepting things for yourself is liberating. And also a bit empowering in a strange sort of way. Just to know in your own head that you are bi and that you're fine with that and happy is great.
    When the time feels right and you have someone you can really trust - but completely in your own time, if you come out to even one person - you'll be amazed suddenly how it seems to make it all somehow more real. Because it leaves your head and - well it comes out lol. But I'm happy you're feeling good anyway! Well done you and message me anytime cos I'd be real curious to hear about how you get on or just how you feel about it all etc.

    Best of luck!
     
  4. I'm gay

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    Since coming out, I've had several people comment to me on how I've changed. I can see the changes myself as well. I'm more confident, happier, and much more comfortable in my own skin.

    I think part of it is the coming out and no longer hiding myself, but I think a bigger part of that is that coming out pulled me out of depression - a depression I didn't even realize was there. If you've been depressed prior to coming out, that could be part of it for you as well.
     
  5. Adray

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    I know exactly what you mean, KSatt. When I embraced my bisexuality, it was a very empowering thing for me. I didn't have to fight myself anymore.

    You are doing great. Keep making progress, and baby steps are not only okay, but great.

    And being bisexual is awesome, don't let anyone tell you any differently. It can be really challenging to explain to straight or gay people... but when it's you and you know it, it is awesome.

    I'm happy for you, keep up the great progress! (*hug*)
     
  6. Quantumreality

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    Exactly, Adray. It can be completely frustrating to explain it to mono-sexuals! They think of sexuality so linearly!

    Congratulations, KSatt! You have a strong, bright future ahead!:slight_smile:
     
    #6 Quantumreality, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2016
  7. KSatt

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    In the interest of progress, I wanted to share the conversation I had with my sister tonight. While I certainly didn't come out to her, I would say it was another baby step. She went with me to buy a flannel shirt for my Halloween costume (I'm going as Garth from Wayne's World; a friend is going as Wayne). I couldn't decide between two shirts, so I got them both. Unbeknownst to me, she had picked out the same two shirts for her husband. I jokingly told her people would think we were together and buying matching shirts. She said she was afraid of that. I looked at her and said, "I really don't mind people thinking I'm a lesbian. That doesn't bother me at all." I don't think she took me seriously, but she didn't react badly to the statement so that's something. It felt good just to say it even if it wasn't a full admission or "coming out."
     
  8. Quantumreality

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    Way to go, KSatt!:thumbsup: I've started making little hints by backing off my own self-censorship when talking to people I'm not out to, as well. It feels rather freeing, doesn't it?:slight_smile:
     
    #8 Quantumreality, Oct 14, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2016