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Being patient with yourself

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by crazydog15, Oct 20, 2016.

  1. crazydog15

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    How do you do it...?

    I've been told that I need to do it, and I've read online that it's important after coming out late. But how do you do it? Because quite honestly, I don't want to be patient with myself. If I can't get my years back, then I want to be "fixed" right now. I don't want to work toward being normal; I just want to be normal. Right. Now.
     
  2. angeluscrzy

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    Yeah I feel a lot of that rt now as well. Feeling like there are all these things I need to do first to get myself in a date-able position tho and It feels as if nothing is falling in place as quickly as I would like. Don't want to wake and realize several more years have passed and still stuck in the same damn spot.
     
  3. nbd

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    I keep telling myself that it took a long time to get into this mess, so it's going to take a while to figure it out. Totally get the concern about waking up years later with nothing changed, though.

    Figure out something you can do every day to live a bit more authentically. Read to become more educated regarding LGBT issues/history in your country. Talk to people, online if you need to, to realize that you're not alone. Work on making your body healthy, meditate to find peace, eat right and exercise. Something, anything, every day so that you can look back and say that you made a step forward.
     
  4. Closeteer

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    Begin by realizing that you came out only when you could have. It's very common to think of "all those wasted years" but at the end of the day that time has passed. What you CAN control is your life ahead. Don't be so miserable over the past that the present sails past you :slight_smile:

    In keeping with the above advice I feel that it's doing all those things which you like and love along with the more mundane everyday things. So be it music, movies, walking, singing, reading, writing, coloring...re-connect with your passions :slight_smile: Also realize that it's OK to feel what you're feeling. There's no "fix" for it. Coming out means letting the lid off of many, MANY feelings that you kept pent up all those years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds. That is why you need the patience (and I know it's not easy - I go into a "why don't I have a boyfriend already?" funk at least thrice a week!).

    Try writing down something about your feelings when you feel a particularly strong surge of emotion or some kind of insight. You'll be amazed at seeing the progress you'll make when you revisit those entries a year later :slight_smile:

    Courage, brother. We've all been there and many of us are still there.