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Relationship getting serious

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RosePetals76, Oct 29, 2016.

  1. RosePetals76

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    Okay, so my current relationship is getting serious and I'm considering engagement rings. I know she's been looking for me, too. I want both of us to have one. There isn't a guy in this relationship, so I don't want it to be like a hetero engagement with just one of us having a ring. I know she tends to like more masculine rings, with the thicker bands, but I want her to be able to have both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Has anyone seen anything like that or have any suggestions?
     
  2. Really

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    Have you googled engagement rings for men? I just did to see if that's a thing :astonished: and see that it is. I think I'm like your gf as far as ring taste goes and my first thought was that any stones/diamonds would need to be flush with the band and some of the results of the above search are really nice. They might give you an idea. Also, you could check out your local artisans to get something unique.

    Congrats!
     
  3. Stewie

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    I've been gone awhile, but I seem to remember you posting about your relationship before, how long have you been together ? If you don't mind me asking.

    And I would suggest finding an actual goldsmith and going custom, if I ever get married again that's what I'll be doing.
     
  4. Orchidea123

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    So happy for you:slight_smile:

    If both of you spoke about engagement, why not ask her what she would like? Maybe show several examples for her opinion but leave the final pick as a surprise?
    If it's a total secret, then like Really suggested - flush stones for masculine maybe?

    But it is important that she likes it since she'll be wearing it all the time, so asking questions may be good.
    You don't want to feel too much pressure too, but finding her preference is good.

    I'm not good at suggesting engagement rings but maybe songs: Elton John's "The One"
     
    #4 Orchidea123, Oct 29, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2016
  5. RosePetals76

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    We have looked at rings together online. She has a few she likes, but also isn't sure on the whole two rings thing. She wants both, but doesn't know how that will work with a men's band.

    There are some flush stone ones that are cool. I was considering stones in the engagement ring, but not in the wedding band.

    Stewie, we've only been together 3 months, but it feels like we've known each other a lifetime. Ever since the second week we've been spending at least 4-5 nights a week together. She will be moving in about 6 weeks from now. Engagement probably won't happen until spring, but it'll take a while to pay on a ring, so we're planning now.
     
  6. Friesian

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    Aw, this is so lovely :slight_smile: Very happy for you!
     
  7. Stewie

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    I really hate giving this advice.

    It sounds great, but please don't rush into marriage. Your still in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, I've seen so unbelievably many couples race into a marriage before they are ready, and have then seen the devastation afterwards. The divorce rate says it all at 45%

    I wish you all the best but if you are going to get rings I still say custom is the way to go.(&&&)
     
  8. Adray

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    Congratulations on the love you've found! I'm very happy for you.

    I don't have any idea on the engagement rings, other than do what you both like best. If it doesn't fit established traditions, make a new tradition.
     
  9. dublinz

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    Congrats!
     
  10. RosePetals76

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    Length of time together doesn't determine divorce rate. I was with my ex 7 years before getting married, and I got divorced. What determines if people stay together is whether or not the truly commit to each other and are capable of working through their problems.

    You assume we're in the honeymoon stage, but there's been a few crises that we've already dealt with, and we came through quite strong. We're very gentle with each other and help each other handle struggles well. And she's awesome with my son with autism, as well as my 2 typical kids. One has even started calling her mama.
     
  11. Orchidea123

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    My parents dated for only 3 months before engagement and have been together 40+ years.
    I dated my spouse for about the same before engagement and would have very little doubt if it was not for my questioning/feelings unrelated to marriage.
    Length of time does not really matter if people are right for each other..
     
  12. caliwoman

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    I think Stewie has a valid point about not rushing into something so concrete, unless it's just kinda the security of the engagement thing going on.

    Perhaps I come from experience...I was engaged after three months. i did make him wait for 2 years before we finally got married. Maybe it was due to expectations from others. I should have left before that and dated much longer before the engagement.

    That's just me though. There's nothing wrong or right about getting engaged that quickly, it's your life. You're a big girl. You do what you want. But like with everything else, moderation and balance is key.

    Congrats and good luck.