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Confused

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by osa, Nov 1, 2016.

  1. osa

    osa
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hello,

    This is my first time trying to post something like this so I am not really sure where to begin.Sorry this is so long.

    I have recently been feeling confused about what I should do. My whole life friends have teased me about being gay. In high school my best friend and her mom would call me a lesbian and tease me about it. It used to make me feel really defensive. I grew up in a small town and spent my time mostly around conservative people in the military and in the small town I went to college to so I feel like i never really had much exposure to the LBGTQ community.

    My first boyfriend and first kiss wasn't until I was 21. I felt like I rushed into that relationship because I felt like something was wrong with me since no guy had ever really approached me before. We dated for about a year and half. That relationship ended two years ago and I tried to date since then, but I could never really date a guy for more than a month. I just didn't feel attracted to the guys that asked me out. I feel like the guys I am attracted to are all ones that are out of reach and impossible for me to be with.

    I moved back to Seattle a little over a year ago and made some new friends. I am now around a very open and diverse group of friends and coworkers. Where the confusion begins is that some of my friends told me that they thought I was gay when they first met me. Some of these friends have made jokes about me and one of my female friends coming close to lezzing out at a party. I just thought we were being normal tipsy giggling friends. Nothing happened between us whatsoever. Since then though I have felt unsure of myself. I know since then I felt some strong feelings towards her (she's straight and in a relationship). Allowing myself to sort of realize there were some weird feelings there has made me realize I find myself drawn towards other females. I am starting to find other females attractive and having thoughts that Ive never had before. Im not sure if being in a more open environment has allowed me to feel like I can be more myself or if I think this way only because people keep calling me gay.

    Is this normal?
     
  2. osa

    osa
    Regular Member

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    Providing clarification:

    "I have recently been feeling confused about what I should do" I mean what should I do about confusion over whether or not I am a lesbian, straight, or Bi.
     
  3. DAFriend

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Fist, don't rush your self discovery and don't be afraid of it either. Our orientation and gender can be fluid and, can change at any age. You also don't have to fit neatly into any one box.

    Nothing wrong with just being honest and testing the waters with a few lesbian encounters. Most LGBTQ people understand, and are happy to oblige and, talk with you. (And I hate that I have to make the LGBTQ distinction there.)