I feel like almost everyone in my life is forcing me into some type of box. As I have only realized in the last 2 years that I am bisexual I have only come out to 1 friend & that was only because I knew she would be understanding & accepting. The majority of my friends are members of a Southern Baptist Conservative Church and therefore I will not be accepted as I truly am. I have to stay in the straight box. It is frowned upon to research & learn about certain things & so in that I am stuck in an intellectual box. I feel like I'm constantly pushing against the sides of these boxes trying to break free. I just feel trapped. I spent the weekend with my accepting friend (a few hours away from my home & normal group of friends) and I was able to be myself for a few days. It was complete & absolute freedom. It was amazing but now I'm back home & back in my boxes. Just feels like I'm trying to run through waist deep wet cement. Can anyone relate?
I can completely relate, right down to the Southern Baptist Church. I'm not out at all right now, but I have one friend that would be accepting who I plan to tell when she comes to visit for the holidays. It's extremely frustrating and stifling feeling like you can never truly be yourself, like you have to constantly conform to the image people have of you. It's lonely and isolating. I don't see an alternative right now. I'm afraid to live my truth would not only mean giving up everyone in my life, but it would also have a negative impact on my career. Sometimes I think it would be more tolerable if I just had someone to talk to who got it. This site helps, but it isn't the same as having a flesh and blood person. All that to say, yes, I can relate.
