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Is it all starting to catch up with me?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Butterfly2016, Nov 6, 2016.

  1. Butterfly2016

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    So, life update. Since I've started working I've been getting a lot more comfortable with who I am. I'm not afraid to be myself. But there's a downside. Just recently, this past week actually, my husband and I have been fighting non-stop. He'll nag me over nothing, I yell back at him. It dies down for a while, but then we start going at it again. And he usually starts it first. Light name calling here and there, telling me I'm not smart about some things, etc. It never stops. Have I just let this go too far? Is it finally time to let him walk away and be happy? Opinions please. Anything helps. Cause right now, I am tired, stressed, and depressed. I've had enough. :tears: :icon_sad: :bang:
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    Hi Butterfly2016,

    Congratulations on the new job and getting more comfortable with yourself. That's great progress.

    I'm not sure if I agree that fighting is a downside per se. I see it as feedback about the relationship with your husband.

    Can you remind me - have you come out to him? I'm assuming that you have ...

    Assuming you have come out to him and in light of what you wrote above, you need to figure out what you want. He's clearly putting you down ("Light name calling here and there, telling me I'm not smart about some things, etc."), which is unhealthy for you. If I were you, I would draw a line in the sand and establish boundaries and let him know this is not acceptable.

    Since you are a lesbian (based on your listed orientation below your EC avatar) then I would give separation serious consideration. At a minimum I would recommend couples therapy. His behavior of putting you down has to stop and/or you need to remove yourself from it.

    (&&&)
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Nov 6, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2016
  3. Butterfly2016

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    Well he knows, but doesn't acknowledge it..I guess. Its confusing. Cause he'll actually check out women with me sometimes lol. For real. In restaurants, if we both see a hot waitress we'll talk about it together. But on the other hand he wants to act like he doesn't know. I suppose its just denial. And as for establishing boundaries, I try to. I tell him over and over I am a grown woman and you will not talk to me like that. But it keeps happening.