Dating

Here's my take as someone who is out and currently dating. I recommend that you meet the following conditions before dating.

1. You are over your coming out high. You'll know when you get there. This happens when you are no longer ecstatic that you came out and a certain amount of realism enters your life. Your thoughts about being gay tend to fade into the background; they're no longer front and center. If you start dating while on the coming out high, you are likely to bad very poor choices.
   
2. You are separated or reach an agreement with your wife that it's OK to date. This is out of respect for your STBX.
   
3. You have some idea of what you want in a man. This will get refined as you date, but it's important to have a starting point.
   
4. You've spoken to your attorney and received guidance about dating vis-à-vis your pending divorce, for example, go dutch and don't buy lavish gifts.

 

For me...it will depend on how well your wife is taking your coming out to her. If she has a positive reaction to it and you both are still residing under the same roof until the house sells...then in my opinion...I would wait until I have my own place just out of respect to her. Even if she is okay with everything...I just would not want to put it in her face considering that she was once my partner in life and we were married. If all of this is taken care of by the new year and you have a couple of good gay friends to look out for your best interest...then I would discuss the possibility of wanting to date with them and have them assist you in getting your feet wet so to speak and keep the dating on a light level...just to get a feel of what to expect of what may fit to your liking. Good luck in whatever you decide to do...JS

 

Whenever it feels right to you. As simple as that.