How to start? Thanks to you guys here at EC my wife and I have reached a point where she is trying VERY hard to be accepting of our mixed orientation relationship. I am trying to be the best husband I can be. Taking time to address same sex needs has been uneventful for the most part... Until a few days ago. Long story short, she feels I was being selfish. That I place my same sex needs before her needs. I acknowledge my desire to engage in straight sex is almost nonexistent right now. She is quick to say she doesn't want sex if I'm doing it just to please her, but... As I've said before, at times we have beautiful intimacy. Am I being unfair to my wife. How do I explain how my desire for her (or any woman) is not where she wants it to be. Thanks for letting me rant.
Hi Srbimom, I don't think you're being selfish at all, you're being honest. I reached a point with my (now soon to be ex) husband about a year ago where I just couldn't be intimate anymore. It was starting to hurt me emotionally. I realise that in your case it's not quite the same, because you want to be intimate again in the future with her. But this is a time (coming out) where you need to be really honest with yourself. Sometimes being honest feels selfish, but it's necessary. It is important to listen to her and validate her feelings, and talk through how she wants to handle things given that you feel distant in that area right now. But be true to you, it's absolutely essential.
