Owning being gay

I do agree and I need to work on owning it personally.

 

I'm a lot younger than you and I've been out since I was 14. It's harder the older you get and the most used to heteronormativity you get. My advice is to get some LGBT friends, delve into same-sex media, and overall make yourself more comfortable with it. it is easier to own it with time.

 

Yes, I love this idea. Owning it.

I do own it now, after so long of denying it.

I think coming out really helped me to own it. Creative Mind's idea of delving into gay media is helpful - I go to many LGBT websites now. It helps.

One more thing: The first time I said to someone that I'm LGBT (different from "I'm gay"), it hit me a little differently, and made me realize that I'm a member of the gay community. That helped me to own it as well.

Thanks for this thread! ride:

 

This is spot on You need to take ownership of your life and embrace your sexuality and own the process of getting comfortable with your own skin. Failure to do so will lead to your getting stuck; fear, anger, frustration, sadness and pain will be your constant companions, though these are also emotions that one will feel on the journey towards authenticity.

This blog details how I owned it Healing the shame of being gay though I probably need to write a subsequent entry about coming into integrity. I created ownership by asking myself a very powerful question - Do you want to be on your deathbed and regret never fully embracing your sexuality? Once you have that sort of clarity, it's relatively easy to push yourself to do the uncomfortable required to expand your comfort with your sexuality.

 

Are you walking the dog, or is the dog walking you? While I remained in the closet "the dog" was definitely walking me. Get your dog trained!

 

Excatly, either you control your life or , it controls you and, being out of control is no fun. You've got to own who you are, good and bad before you can even begin to fix the things you don't like and, enjoy the things you do like about yourself.

 

What helped me own being gay? Coming out publicly, which I did just over a month ago on National Coming Out Day.

I still have little doubts after living a hetero life for 40+ years, but I'm getting more and more comfortable with saying "I'm gay" to people when the occasion warrants it.

 

I 100% agree... and it's been a struggle for me for the past 11 years and still is a huge struggle. I may never get to that point of owning it... I do hope that others who are stronger than me do.

 

I came out at the age of 54. After the first three months, when only my therapist and my husband knew, I came out to everybody.

I rationalised it by telling myself that they would all be wondering why we were ending what appeared to everybody as a perfect marriage after 32 years, so I might as well just be upfront and say so. After all, I was fairly convinced the majority of my friends, family and work colleagues were not homophobic and would support me, and that has proved to be about 99% the case.

However, in retrospect I think it was more about helping me to fully own the truth, and to free myself up from the strain, both emotional and physical, of holding it all in. I literally grew after coming out, my whole posture changed and became more confident.

 

Realizing it was more than just sex. I wanted to be intimate with a man, and realizing I could only be intimate with a man.

I realized I have a lot of barriers and fears about being gay but when it finally sunk in that the only way I will find happiness and intimacy with another person is with a man, I began to feel good about being gay.