1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The dilemma of wanting something so bad...but wanting to wait until you're in love

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by caliwoman, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. caliwoman

    caliwoman Banned

    Joined:
    May 3, 2016
    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    I'm not one to have a visceral reaction to women, even though I consider myself bisexual. I can't just look at a woman and get hot and bothered. I wanted to save myself for "The One;"
    that one special lady who I'd share a deep emotional connection to and be in love with.

    I've had feelings for women since I was 15 years old, although it took me until I was 35 to acknowledge it. I've waiting 20 years to finally accept my feelings for what they are and I feel like I've been waiting forever.

    50% of me wants girl-on-girl sex and wants it NOW, 50% of me wants to wait until I have, at the very least, a deep emotional connection...and hopefully be in love.

    The gal who I thought might be "The One" didn't turn out that way. Since the ladies have always been the hardest for me to get over, I'm still in the healing process. It usually takes months, but I am getting better at it.

    I've tried to move on by talking to other women and that hasn't really panned out any attraction until last night. I'm not sure why I even responded to this 26 year old bisexual female who has a boyfriend, but something in my gut said to give it a try. Well, she responded and she's beautiful. It was the first visceral reaction I've had to a female by just seeing her. I got lady wood, lol.

    So, the horny teenage boy wants to jump into the sack with this young, beautiful, eager 26 year old.
    The 35 year old in me wants to wait for the right person and have an intimacy that I've never experienced before.

    The horny teenager in me wants to try this out and finally get some experience under my belt and confirm that I do like this.
    The 35 year old in me recalls how I lost my virginity to a man and how it didn't mean a dang thing because I wasn't in love and I had hoped not to repeat that.

    But she's beautiful. And this would distract me fro the heartache of what I had with the last woman.

    SO lost and confused as to what to do.
     
  2. Lora

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2016
    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Re: The dilemma of wanting something so bad...but wanting to wait until you're in lov

    I must say that you're lcuky.

    This is a rare opportunity, don't you think? You will never know until you do something about it, right? Why not put your energy and enjoy the journey than worry about the destination itself? Besides, life is a journey. Love is a journey.

    Having said that, you must be aware of your intention. If your intention is to use her as a rebound then, I don't think that it will be healthy for you. Unless, she's only for sex, then it's up to you. Thread carefully if you are the type of person who easily falls inlove and gets hurt. However, if you can handle things in more sensible way, and not putting too much of your heart into your closeness with her, then, you can have a wonderful romance with her regardless if she has a boyfriend or not. I wish I were in your shoes. Goodluck.
     
  3. findingjoy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    552
    Likes Received:
    130
    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: The dilemma of wanting something so bad...but wanting to wait until you're in lov

    caliwoman, I can totally relate to this. I really badly want to embrace my sexuality to 'consummate it' with a guy, but its got to be a guy I am in love with.
    Sometimes I wonder if I fear that reality will break the fantasy lots of people here have had bad first encounters and that put them off for awhile. It could also be like teenagers we need a few awkard make outs until we 'do it' :slight_smile: