Help.Major crush on student..

One cold shower coming up. One do you love your husband? Two are you willing to give up your career for her? Three you say that you can sense that she feels the same way, are you sure? Four, she's 10 years younger. Five, could this just be a crush?

Hope this helps.

 

You need to leave well alone, if you persue her or say anything inappropriate she could either blackmail you or complain or both, if she complans you'll be suspended then sacked and struck off.

 

This has bad news written all over it.

In my opinion, even if you were willing to lose your career and your husband over this, you have a responsibility to act ethically with her because she is a student of yours. There is a reason for those rules - because you are in a position of power over her. The chances of this working out successfully are extremely slim, so you would be putting a lot at risk for something that has little chance of succeeding.

Not only for yourself but also for her sake, you should walk away from this, however difficult that may be.

Take care. ride:

 

I agree with everyone above. Also, how can you know she is your soulmate and feels the same for you? Are you both absolutely in love with each other, can't stay away, and privately meet to deal with this because your relationship is too risky and you think you can't be together? Sounds like too much too soon. One month does not a soulmate make! One month does make a great infatuation, though.

 

Be very careful. If the feelings are that strong, you may be setting yourself up to get hurt. You say "nothing has to happen" now, but in a few months will you still be able to say that? Think long and hard on this, it may be better to just walk away completely.

 

It's hard with the teacher-student relationship being one of unequal power. She probably sees you as brilliant because of your teaching, research, etc. but what she does not see is the painstaking time it took to get there. It just looks so effortless and magical to a student. Maybe after some time paases from when she is your student, you could see if the flame is still there.

 

Even if you weren't married, it would still be a bad idea. The teacher-student relationship has an unequal power imbalance. Doesn't matter if you were single, It can cross dangerous territories. You may be reported, lose your job, and be filed for sexual harassment/assault if she reports. Even though she is technically an adult, the teacher/student relationship is seen as immoral at all ages.

I'm 26 myself. I would never want to date a 36 year old and would be especially creeped out if it were my own teacher. I would probably report such a person for sexual harassment and would feel unsafe at school. I am not saying this to invalidate your feelings or make you look bad, I'm just trying to show you the reality of how dangerous this situation is. You must make sure she never knows about this and you need to get over your feelings ASAP.

 

Honestly, you say this, but I read something different in your posts. The way you were talking about her, sounded like you were ready to date her, and have an affair.

Look, do what you want, but I think even being friends with a student is very unprofessional. Not to mention inappropriate. Even if it never gets sexual or romantic, that could be seen as a conflict of interest by many. Tread carefully.

 

Oh I'm aware you don't actually want to physically date her. But you have an infatuation with her, and even just having her pick that up is enough to get you reported. That's why I said to tread carefully. It's better to maintain distance in situations like this.

 

Theoretically I agree with everyone else, but dang! If only I had a teacher like you! :love:

 

Yep cold shower.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, hun. You asked for advice and we gave it to you, it's fine.