They say the things you regret most are the things in life you don't do, not the things you do. I'm thinking they must be right.... About a year ago, while on a road trip with a friend, we met up with two ladies at a campground one night. The night was chilly, and as we had no wood to make a fire, they invited us over to join them around their campfire. We didn't know each other from Adam, but the 4 of us hit it off right away and talked for hours about all kinds of things. They were from LA and invited us to contact them when we were in the city in a few days. They even offered to take us surfing, long a dream of mine. But I didn't take them up on the offer. Why? Because I was 99% sure they were lesbian. The one made it fairly obvious by trying to kiss me. And it scared me. At that point, I hadn't yet looked honestly at my sexual orientation. I was still stuffing it down. With my Christian beliefs, I had no idea what to do with the thought of being gay, so I ran. I didn't want to face my own discomfort with my sexuality. Now I regret that with all my heart. I wish I would have been honest then and pursued the friendship. I wish I would have tried surfing. But because of my fear I missed out on something good. My friend has their contact information somewhere, but now more than a year later, just contacting them out of the blue feels weird..... Just wanted to say, to all of us later in lifers, don't let fear hold you back. Is there anything you regret from before you accepted your sexuality or came out?
Jackie13, What you've just written doesn't sound weird at all to me. Perhaps you could try to convey exactly that to them? I'm sure that as people of our community they would understand that sometimes it's not apparent right away what someone's orientation is when something like that happens. I'll bet they'd understand. Good luck! Patrick Seattle, WA
Jackie, I know how you feel and I have many stories of regret... the woman I fell in love with just before I got married (never showing her my feelings), not going on that date wren a nice woman asked me out, denying I was flirting when a woman would show interest in gay bars, not going for that kiss at a party years ago, jumping back into the closet after peeking out at 22ish... But now we've got our paths ahead of us, we can live our truths, we can go forward and discover and live out our true needs. (*hug*)
I get how you feel. There are a couple of moments from my college days that still scream of "What Ifs". If you're having thoughts about it and it's gnawing at you, why not reach out to them? What's the absolutely worse thing that could happen? They don't respond or they politely tell you it was a nice time but they've moved on. It might tie up a loose end for you. The risk is almost non-existent compared to the possible reward.
I agree with everyone else-- you should definitely contact them! You should tell them exactly what you said on here. However, if you don't feel comfortable doing that you could even say "we weren't able to contact you last time but we're/I'm coming back to LA and would love to take you up on your surfing offer!" See where it takes you. You know how much regret you had passing it up last time so it doesn't hurt to try again, right? Many times we can't go back and change something we regret but at least this time you have a chance to try again, in a way.
At this point I'm pretty much repeating what everyone else has just said but if you have the ability to claw back this opportunity then I'd do so. Even if it feels awkward, try to rationalise it as a moment's pain for a lifetime's pleasure, to quote Atomic Kitten. You don't know what might come of meeting again, and if you never try, you'll never know. I can completely sympathise with having regrets because you were too afraid to act on your desire or curiousity and in many ways it's a sad world we live in that this is so often the case. But if there's any way to give this particular situation a happy ending, I'd give it a shot. Good luck.
Oh so many regrets...moments I should have taken, things I should have pursued. Nevermind, we can't look back now. Future is full of opportunities. However, in this case I say contact them, they would understand for sure! x
Hey. Don't have that regret in 15 years time!!! It only 12 months! Get of your bum and contact them, ask if the surfs up!
I have so many regrets like that. I wouldn't know where to start. I think I would go ahead and make that call.
