Hi, I am in love with my colleague and she is gay and she also has a girlfriiend.the other problem is that I have a husband and kids. we were at a party recently and got drunk but she was a lot worse than me,So I took her home,helped her up to her bedroom.She went to bed and said she was pissed and I put a blanket over her. But she looked at me, I stroked her head and we kissed. It was such a lovely kiss. We stopped and went downstairs and she kept saying she is in a relationship and I have a husband as well. I told her that I care for her as a friend and left. the next day we text and she said she didnt remember anything, I said it was a blur for me too. I didn't want to tell her what really happened in case she shuts me out, I want to be friend with her and we work together as well. but I constantly think about the kiss and don't know who initiated it first. Should I be honest and say what happened? I can't believe I am feeling all this as I am not gay but she attracts me immensely. Don't know what to do thanks, Claire
Hi Claireh, welcome! I wonder whether your colleague does remember but isn't sure how to broach the subject? Perhaps a night out as friends can break the ice again. I know it's complicated because you're married. Does this feel like something you want to explore and understand better?
Hi baristajedi, Thank you! I also thought that she says she doesn't remember but she does. When i speak to her, her eyes look straight through me and then I think she knows. Again as you said, I thought of having a chat sometime soon to see how things are when we are not in work environment. But knowing her she wouldn't (as I don't either) want to hurt other people's feelings. She is going away for a week so I hope this helps me gain some confidence. Thanks Claire
I feel for you. I once had a drunken kiss with a lesbian friend and we pretended it didn't happen the next day. I met her while I was married, and this happened shortly after my divorce. I developed a huge crush, possibly even fell in love, but she distanced herself from me, possibly because she felt I wasn't a "true" lesbian, I suppose. It was painful for me, and I had to make myself get over it. This was more than 20 years ago. It was painful and I missed her and her friendship terribly for a long time. I don't know what to say as advice, I'm just sharing my story.
Thank you for sharing. I decided that it will be best to keep my mouth shut and not say anything to her. Although I suspect she knows what happened.I had to give her and other people a lift the other day,by on the way back it was only the two of us in the car.When I had to drop her off she almost ran out of the car and hardly said proper goodbye. I text her later to wish all the best for the holidays but no reply.So that's how I draw my conclusion that something is not right.I will still speak to her in the new year but will only want us to be friends,otherwise lots of people will get hurt.
