Hi, I just posted something on another thread that lead me to think about starting my own thread here. Basically, after I came out to her our relationship turned upside down for the better. We went from passionless sex twice a year to passionate sex twice daily, a lot more openess, communication, patience, respect. OK, to be honest, there's been some serious turbulence and the usual back and forth between grief, anger, sadness, etc..., but all very civil so far. We got to the point of agreeing about separating and how the arrangements could look like, however, the nostalgia for our early days took over our brains and we are experiencing a kind of second honeymoon. How common is that? Is it just denial or there is more to it. Does it wear off again in a few months? As long as our relationship stays like it is at the moment, I do not feel that ending it is the right thing to do. I am hoping that I am just bi or fluid or whatever or just hetero enough to make this work and that we can stay together. Look forward to your thoughts and experiences on this.
I am not an expert on relationships but maybe you both had fallen into a 'routine' and were emotionally detached and re-ignited the relationship. It sounds to me like your marriage is worth preserving though!
I had initially hoped that coming out to my wife would be part of new foundation for our relationship. She had told me earlier that day that she had lost interest in sex and felt badly about. I thought about that a few hours and then went upstairs and told her that I had come to the conclusion that I was gay. She was receptive and supportive, encouraged me to explore the feelings I had fought against my whole life, to discover how it felt to be a gay man who fully accepted himself. The good times did not last. My wife never emphasized my homosexuality as a reason for wanting a divorce, and I think that if everything else in our marriage had been good, we might have ultimately stayed together. But the other problems we were having were too great, and I think that my being gay was part of the underlying problem. I still cling to the idea that I'm bi because I do feel genuine attractions to women. But I also believe that I need to let go of that. I waste valuable time trying to figure it all out. And I think I'll only truly be happy when I fully accept that I'm gay. I hope it's just a matter of time.
