LIES PEOPLE TELL ME: "You just haven't met the right person yet"

As sad as it is, you won't meet people unless you put yourself out there. There are plenty of options: Online dating, gay meet ups, friends of friends. Have you tried online dating? I know you said there are no real clubs or gay friends of friends, so that might be an option. You can be an introvert that enjoys going to meet ups, It's just that you'll need a break after doing so.

There's no such thing as a one true soul mate or someone created for someone, but anyone can find dates if they try.

 

Sorry you haven't had much luck! It seems unfortunate that a lot of online dating is geared toward casual flings and nothing more.

I feel like dating is so much harder for gay people.

 

You're right that some people will be single for their entire lives. But that's okay, because it works better for some people. Push back against becoming jaded, keep your mind open to possibilities, enjoy people and relationships for who and what they are, be a good friend, and make your own plans (like having a baby on your own).

 

I know what you mean. I live in one of the gayest neighborhoods in the world, yet I'm completely perplexed about how I'm ever going to meet the sort of men I would be interested in. I don't doubt that they are out there, I just don't know how to find them.

I have had many relationships with women but none with men. I often think that I'll never be in any sort of real relationship again. Every time I vow to fully come out to the world, I worry that I'll live alone for the rest of my life. Of course, if I remain as deeply closeted as I am, I'll either be alone or in a relationship with a woman that is built on deception.

 

I don't believe on 'The One', I believe we share our time with more than one single partner on a lifetime, and every partner is 'The One' for a while, be it a week or twenty years.

It is more fun to want to get to know someone, than to examine someone looking for 'special marks'... Then if we don't find those marks, we are doomed to feel cheated... And also people do change with time, we do change, and with all those changes the whole relationship will turn different. Sometimes the relationship survives, but most of the time it won't.

If you do have a great life right now, treasure it and don't endanger it for a relationship. Take your time to get to know potential partners, the more the better... And for that you do need to make an effort and meet them, get to know them, be patient, etc.

Somebody will cross your path. Most of the times when you are not expecting them, or not looking for them, when you are just living your life and not giving a damn, they just pop up...

 

I keep wanting to press like and there isn't a like button...lol

I completely understand what you are saying. With the exception of my long, drawn out forum posts online, I am very introverted. Without going into my story to much, I did the whole career thing and it is extremely hard to meet anyone regardless of orientation. I see myself in the same boat in a few years. I think about that a lot. I have come to the conclusion that even if I spend the rest of my life without someone special sharing it with me, life is better when you are being the real you.

Like others have posted, stop looking so hard and love usually comes your way. Enjoy your life, have a baby, focus on doing things that make you happy. Although it would be great to have a special someone to share your life with, it is not the end of happiness if you never find that someone.

 

Maybe consider moving? Also, don't knock those struggling artists!

Also, Soundofmusic, dearest. This isn't the first time I've seen you call yourself a snob when it comes to people. Maybe take a look to see if your preconceived notions of others is getting in the way of your gay happiness. Also, maybe see if it's a crutch you're using to separate yourself somehow. Just some thoughts!

Hope you have a lovely New Year