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Confused and digusted with myself. Underage feelings

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Cylonx1ng, Dec 31, 2016.

  1. Cylonx1ng

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    Hi everyone,
    I am new here and looked online for advice anywhere to the sun and up. I came across this forum and felt this might be the best place to talk about what i am feeling because i cant go anywhere else.

    My sitaution is... Im confused about how i feel about a person. This wouldnt be such a huge problem for me as ive been in many relationships before. Just never with anyone underage.
    This lerson i am talking about is a customer of mine but shes been a regular for about 4 years so ive seen her grow up before my eyes but as she got older we started having better conversations and i realized i talk with her as if we are the same age. Not that im immature but her more mature and intelligent. I found myself not being able to stop thinking about her. I feel as she has feelings for me as well. What makes matters worse, it seems as if her mother encouages it. Whenever they come into my work her mom often leaves me and her alone to talk and ive seen gestures between them as if there is an inside joke. I deal with teenagers her age all the time. Guys and girls but none of them have made me felt this way so i dont believe i have a thing gor underage girls. Matter factly ive always been against it.
    I like talking to her and i like seeing her. I don't lust for her body, she appears to look her age unlike other teenagers but thats not what draws me toward her. Her personality is really cute and she is a sweet girl. She has always been really considerate and responsible. Often her mother could buy her anything but she puts it off unlike other teenagers who beg their parents for everything. I dont exactly lust for her body but i can definetly imagine myself kissing her and i sometimes think to myself how pathetic i am. Im not lacking in the looks department snd have gotten hit on by older girls but i just not interested. A lot of forums say its okay to have a crush and wait until shes 18 but i dont feel right. There is a 10 yr+ between us and im considering trying to convince myself i want to think of her as a little sister has her snd her family have made it seem very clear they really like me beyond a customer associate relationship. They even got me a holiday gift. But the dark side of my mine is telling me to get closer to her and make it clear you are interested in her and would consider dating her when she turns 18. Please dont misunderstand me. Even if she herself came out right snd told me she liked me and her parents said it was okay. I would not have a sexual relationship with her until she is 18. Please does anyone ever had the same situation?
    I dated a 29 year old when i was 16 but at the time it was more of an immature side of me wanting an older hot lady that no one could get. Ive grown up a lot since then.
     
  2. ConnectedToWall

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    Very interesting. I have the opposite problem. I have feelings for women much older than me, and sometimes feel ashamed of that. I also feel that if one of these older women reciprocated feelings I would feel so relieved. Because I would know that I wasn't alone, with my feelings...once she's eighteen I think it's different. I think you could be with her then, or you could even just tell her you have feelings for her when she is eighteen but you don't know if you should be together because of the age difference.
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    It's one of those situations where you need to tread very carefully and not just because the other person is currently under age. Even if she had attained the age of consent there is still a big problem with age gap relationships where young people are concerned. I'm afraid a gap of only two or three years can be difficult at that stage in life, so a gap of 10+ years is nearly impossible. It may work in the short term, when everything seems fresh and exciting, but medium-long term the imbalances begin to tell on the relationship and it's almost inevitable that one or both parties will be hurt by the experience.

    I would strongly urge you to keep the "dark side" of you in check and not allow these feelings to develop. Not saying all of this to be unkind, but the overwhelming evidence is that age gap relationships with very young people don't work out well. A good and warm professional relationship that currently exists could be harmed if you decide to pursue this at a later stage.