I just started seeing a new woman, and she's quite amazing. But I suppose I'm having just a bit of trouble wrapping my head around all of the emotions I'm having with her. I'm the first woman she's been with, she's my second. With the first woman I dated i was all in emotionally, and looking back I think it was a bit too intense, it was like I just couldn't keep my head straight and it's good that I stopped seeing her for that reason among others. With this new woman, I feel so much more cautious, a little guarded in some sense. I feel so much with her, the feelings are intense and amazing... intoxicating? But she always seems to be one step ahead of me, from the start: for example, at the time that she said she had been fancying me for a while, I was thinking she's really attractive, lovely, etc, but not really developing strong feelings, then we kissed... and yeah, I can't get enough of being next to her, kissing her, running my fingers through her hair... but at the same one I have this very strong desire When it's time to get home, that im ready to go, , I like knowing there's about a week before I'll see her, I'm ok that we may have to take them inimacy kind of slowly. When I write this down it just sounds like I'm being sensible but I guess I'm having trouble understanding why I have a very clear sense of boundaries that feel very sharp with this woman. With the last woman, it was really hard to make myself go home, and to keep my feelings from overpowering me. I'm not sure how to articulate why this feels a bit puzzling to me, maybe it's just that o have so little experience with all of these feelings. Does anyone have insight? ---------- Post added 13th Jan 2017 at 01:31 AM ---------- Autocorrect.... *at the same time; may have to take the intimacy kind of slowly
I thought about that, I remember how it felt for me the first time and I suppose knowing how overpowering that was might be what's making me feel just a little cautious?
It definitely sounds like you're being cautious this time around, and maybe pacing yourself with any feelings of being overwhelmed. I think it's good. It's like you're balancing out, almost. I'd say to trust yourself and your feelings.
well, you're a step or two beyond where she is on the path, and remember the euphoria of your first GF. you also know things don't always last.... being careful with your heart isn't a bad thing, it's loving yourself. (this should be your first love.) and maybe your feelings aren't as strong as hers. there's nothing wrong with that, be honest with yourself. either way enjoy it, let the path play out as it will and see where it goes. (*hug*)
My BF and I each have separate homes, cars, activities/hobbies, etc. We've established a pattern of being intensely together on weekends at my place, (and I love that he feels perfectly at home there), and being mostly apart during the week. He also lives quite a distance away from me, like on the other side of town. I love being with him, but I also love being on my own...I know this sounds weird, but I love both states equally, it is in my nature to enjoy my independence, no matter how illusory that may be. He gets a little sad when he has to leave on Monday morning, but we communicate constantly every day...which is what is important.
I do think I'm balancing out a bit, but I also feel there's something I'm not quite feeling sure about. I think it's a bit of a combination - I have my own personal need for space, clear head and focus; also I realise i desire something that feels meaningful even if it's casual, and I'm wondering a but whether she's thinking this is just physical; also I feel like I just enjoy the buildup of things as well. I was talking to a friend and I think I just need to do the things that communicate those needs, take her out on dates that encourage building things up a bit slowly, and let us get to know each other better, etc. And express it to her as well. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 07:48 PM ---------- I think I do have s bit of concern about getting hurt, and a bit of concern about having different intentions and expectations. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 07:51 PM ---------- You're right lookingforme, all of this rings true. I think I may be overthinking this a bit as well, I tend to overthink! I think maybe I need to just let myself enjoy the experience more and let it unfold without questioning it so much. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 07:55 PM ---------- So maybe as yeahipdk said, I'm just balancing out a bit. What you describe sounds like a great mix of intimacy, excitement and independence. I want that healthy balance. I do think though that I'm feeling some reservations about *something*. But not enough to not date her, the draw to be with her outweighs the reservations I'm feeling. ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2017 at 08:02 PM ---------- When I'm not with her, I think about her a lot, i feel a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest about her much if the day. I daydream about her eyes and our time together. I feel good inside as well about *me*, like being with her brings to the surface the things I've been working towards; I'm being myself and she is attracted to me just being fully myself. And I love the way it feels to be with her, she's sexy and sweet. I don't know how to explain it, but the feeling of being me, being liked for me, and expressing my feelings for a woman I'm so strongly attracted to, it all kind of feels amazing.
