Yes, I need someone to talk to. Like many guys in my generation, it just wasn't possible to be openly gay in my teens and twenties.I felt pressured to follow the standard straight pattern...girl friend, college, wife, job, kids, etc. and I did. I was far to scared to let my big secret out to the world and so I stayed in the closet for 55 very long years. That I kept my sanity is a miracle. The last three years have seen terrible health problems and retirement from a job that I dearly loved. It became more than I could endure on top of keeping my secret for so long. Using my health and retirement as reason I convinced my wife that I need to see a counselor. I found a guy in a large town 150 miles away that was gay and spilled my guts to him...I was terrified and happy at the same time! I have been seeing him for two years and have made enormous progress. Three months ago I managed to get up the courage to tell my wife. In spite of my orientation, I do love her and she loves me. She did not walk out, but accepted my as I am!!! However, she is deathly worried that our friends and family will find out and that is something she does not think she can handle. So after finally coming out at the age of 65 I have only two people who know and I can only really talk about it with one of them. I desperately need a "gay pen-pal"! Someone that I can write to with my problems and successes. Someone who can write back to me and share their ups and downs. I don't want to go on for the rest of my life as if I never came out, living the same false life, wearing the same false mask. I realize that at this point in my life, changing my entire lifestyle (moving to L.A., getting a boyfriend, etc.) is just not practical. Leaving my friends and family where I live is also something I don't want to do. But an email once or twice a week to share my life with one or two others would be wonderful! I somehow need to change now that I have finally accepted and told others that I am Gay...but I know that it won't and doesn't have to be a huge, flamboyant change and I don't think I would want it to be. Soooo, are there any takers out there? Is there any one would like to become my friend, exchange emails and share at least a small part our lives with each other?
Hi Adz... Thanks for responding to my message! I really do want to start a low-key, several times (or more) conversation a week with a couple of guys here on EC that are in situations similar to mine. I'm hoping we can help each a little by comparing what we are dealing with and how we have handled it/how it has worked out. It's so different now than it was when we were young. There was no way that I was going to tell anybody that I liked boys when I was pre-teen/teenager. By the time I was a little older it was pretty much too late. If you'd like you can read my posts here on EC and you'll be pretty much able to follow my life from about age 8 or so when I first started to wonder why I liked to watch the boys and didn't care about the girls much right up to my 2014 Christmas Crisis that really stated to tear the walls down. I made the comment several times that I know how to be the "Straight" David because I played that part for 56 years, but as I have come out to a few people in the last two years I still don't really know who the "Gay" David is. I haven't been around him very long yet and I have so many questions about what my future holds now that I've started to open the closet door after such a long time. I'm hoping that writing back and forth with a few guys who are experiencing the same thing that I am will help me find out more about myself, and might even help someone else! Thanks so much for replying...please write again! ....David
Hi David, I read your reply and again we are very similar , Can you pm me and I can tell you more about myself. I also need to communicate with someone, I've been needing to talk to someone all my life Adz
Hey Adz... I tried to send you a PM but then I discovered that you are a regular member of EC. You don't access to PM until you are a full member. I hope we can still share with each other in the forum. I'll do some checking and see if there is any other way for us to stay in touch without PM......David
To quebec and Adz: Until you are both full members, the only way for you to have one-on-one conversations is through wall posts. While it's not "private" it is at least one-on-one and not in the general support forums. Do keep in mind, of course, that no conversation on EC, in private messaging or otherwise, is truly private. All posts are reviewed for appropriateness and adherence to EC rules.
Hi Ada, exchanging email addresses, or any other form of information that would allow you to contact another person or another person to contact you, is strictly prohibited on the public forum. When we discover that members have exchanged off-site contact information against the rules, we discipline them, most often with a ban. If you become a full member, then you would be permitted exchange emails with quebec through PM and through PM alone.
Hi David - Reading your post stirred up some heavy emotions for me. I am 52 now- I joined here after I turned 50. I went from 'I'll never come out ... it's too late for me to leave my wife after 30 years ... ' to where I am now- In the middle of an amicable divorce after coming out 6 months ago. Though I'm at a different point in my journey, every word you wrote spoke to me and I have so much empathy for your situation. I'm not a full member or I would be happy to write to you as well. Just wanted to say best of luck- finding someone to talk to is so important. Best Wishes
