Hi everyone - I'm SeaMonkey, looking forward to getting to know you guys :smilewave So the thing is, I'm just starting to date someone new with real potential, who I have met IRL. She seems like a decent kind person, I know she is well-liked and respected, and shares a very similar worldview to me. She also seems a bit geeky and slightly quirky - which is just my type! We had met through friends before Christmas, and were both on a night out where we got on. We then met up in the new year for drinks as "friends", but then we both confided that we had a crush on each other and that really we were on a date. We haven't been able to meet up since as I have been unwell, but have agreed to meet up once I'm better. Just over two years ago, I broke up with my first ever girlfriend (my "coming out" relationship). It was lust at first online click - I was majorly infatuated with her dating profile from the get go and was completely blind to any incompatibilities in real life (of which there were several). It all got quite nasty in the end, and I would argue, emotionally abusive. It has taken me a long time to lick my wounds, but I now feel a lot more closure over the first relationship. Since breaking up with my first girlfriend, I have been on dates with a few different women - but for various reasons, such as distance, lack of mutual shared interests/connection, gut instinct etc it hasn't worked out - which is fine, as they weren't meant to be. With this new girl, I really do feel like I have my eyes open, and I genuinely like her - but I feel I'm being quite cautious. I also know that she has not been in a relationship with a woman before (and has only had brief relationships with men where she got bored with them quickly), but from what she has said seems to be pretty queer (although struggles to put a label on it). So if we were to continue dating, I would potentially be her "coming out" relationship. Although I am very attracted to her, I could totally imagine being really good friends with her. I guess especially because of my experience over the first girlfriend - I am scared of being emotionally harmed again and being subjected to an unkind and unloving relationship - I just can't allow myself to be treated that way again. I also don't want to potentially hurt this new girl - and in a strange way feel quite caring towards her? Any thoughts/comments gratefully welcomed!
