1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Good old fashioned lover boy...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Jan 19, 2017.

  1. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,838
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ok now I'm just making thread titles with Queen song names, there's no way to turn that title into something relevant. But for whatever reason that song is the one that's helping me celebrate in my headphones at my desk (great song).

    And inside im doing this http://https://goo.gl/images/MjZsgG

    (Did that link work?)


    I'm waiting on a call from someone that I think, I've been given strong indication (fingers crossed) will lead to a job offer for a better position, better work environment, more pay.

    I went out last night with the woman I've been seeing, sigh, oh she's amazing.

    And I talked openly several times at work today about the LGBT group I'm in (in those words), reference to my girl I've been dating (just an obvious reference to a woman and a date), and finally my friend with my blessing told a coworker I'm separating from my soon to be ex.

    Today's a good day :icon_bigg

    ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2017 at 06:24 AM ----------

    https://goo.gl/images/MjZsgG


    Maybe it will work this time?
     
  2. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    fingers crossed hun. here's to bigger and better things for you.
     
  3. Isaacsolomon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2015
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I did wonder if this thread was gonna be about the Queen song. It's a good song. Way to get me to click, Baristajedi!

    That sounds awesome for you! Well done. Side question: Do you, all things considered, feel comfortable around/do you like your colleagues a lot, before today? Is this why you felt you wanted to share this with them? As someone that's not had a full-time job before, I've never really worked with people I felt comfortable with, so anything gay-related just - doesn't come up. Only curious :slight_smile:
     
  4. Adray

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Illinois, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The link worked.

    Good for you, barista. Be you, be awesome. It's the only way to go!
     
  5. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,838
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks lookingforme, IsaacSolomon and Adray!! :kiss:


    Update - I got the job!!!!!


    Isaacsolomon- in terms of my colleagues, no I'm not comfortable with them. I wanted to come out to them because it feels so suffocating and kustbibternally wrong to lie everyday about my life. It always comes up in some way at work (how's your husband, what did you do this weekend, etc). Coming out has just allowed me to feel better for me and I don't care how it impacts my relationship woot others there. Of course I'm lucky because I don't need to worry that it threatens my job security or my personal safety.

    But coming out has brought me closer to people as well, including one work colleague, because it allows me to be honest, even in areas unrelated to my sexuality or my weekend plans or my family structure (separation).

    If I weren't married to a guy, likely nothing gay related (or closet inducing) would come up...but if I wanted to bring a date to the chrsitmas party etc, I wouldn't hope I could be myself.

    So it all depends on context, what's comfortable for you in terms of work and being out?

    ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2017 at 12:24 AM ----------

    *just internally wrong

    ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2017 at 12:24 AM ----------

    *my relationship with

    ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2017 at 12:27 AM ----------

    *would hope
     
  6. CameOutSwinging

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    735
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York City
    Congrats on getting the job!

    I can relate to the work thing. I haven't told anybody at my job anything, though I feel like if they've paid enough attention/overheard some of my conversations, they should know something by now. Either way, when they ask about my wife or whatever, I just go with it like we're still happily together. Part of it is just embarrassment because we only had our wedding in Nov. 2015, so admitting that we've already split up to my coworkers feels shameful. If I were single, I don't think I'd have a problem telling them about dating guys.

    Related, my aunt (who works in my office building too) told me recently that a guy who works with her saw me on a certain app. I laughed and made it clear to her there's nothing wrong with being on the app and she agreed and said that the only thing she did was tell the guy that my ex and I broke up, because obviously since he knew I was married, he assumed I might be cheating.
     
  7. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,838
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That feeling of embarrassment, that's all part of it for me too. I'm trying to get myself to the point where I can talk about my day or weekend in a normal way though, without apology. It's a work in progress :slight_smile:. How are you doing with your life away from your wife, btw?

    ---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2017 at 11:42 PM ----------

    And thanks for the congrats! I'm quite excited!:icon_bigg
     
  8. CameOutSwinging

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2015
    Messages:
    735
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York City
    I think I'll answer your question about how things are going in a new thread, since I don't want to derail this one. But reading that made me think of some things worth discussing about the whole experience, so thank you.

    I'm glad you're excited! You should be! (!)
     
  9. baristajedi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2,838
    Likes Received:
    828
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    thanks comingout! I have been offline for a bit.... i've not been feeling well. I have to search around for your thread