I was really sick this week, had a ear/ sinus/ viral infection. When I went to court I had a 99.9 fever and it made it extra surreal. He didn't attend, we had come to an agreement on our own, and he signed the papers and sent them in. I haven't cried, I don't know if I'm just too exhausted to, or if I'm repressing, or if I've already passed that point. The one thing I felt was a deep relief. Both that it was finally done, and that I live in a time and place where I was able, as a woman, to get a divorce. I had an irrational fear that the judge would decide that that was the day he was tired of giving divorces without what he felt was a good reason. I'm sad but that's it, even writing this still no tears.
Keeping it real. Marriage is a social contrast and people aren't designed to be monogamous. People grow apart overtime - it's just a part of life that just happens sometimes. Society demonizes divorce too much. A divorce isn't bad if it's a way to end an unhappy marriage. A divorce is exactly that - and end to an unhappy marriage. My guess is that you feel bad that you're not more saddened due to societal views of divorce. Be as happy or sad as you want. It takes time after getting divorced.
Society's expectations are there, but I expected to cry. To have a hard time doing much of anything, and to cry really hard. Instead I just feel greatly relieved. Like I had been carrying 50 pounds of something around for so long that I forgot it was heavy. Suddenly the weight is gone, and I'm surprised that I don't miss it like I thought I would.
this part. you may have a little cry later, I did, but the feeling of not carrying a burden that you've made part of your day to day existence is liberating, enjoy it girl. (*hug*)
I'm happy for this weight lifted from your shoulders, now you can move forward, that's wonderful Bunny!
