So I have dealt with depression since late 20's and so for the last 20 years I have been on and off anti-depressants- because there have been times that are good and then not so much I have been steadily on them for over 6 years- and was hoping to decrease one's does. My psychiatrist nurse-- reminded me that now is not a good time- since for the last 3 years Winter has been my hardest time- when everything seems to explode in my life emotionally Both of my children are needing help and facing their own issues at school (11 and 6) that is requiring a lot of attention- and I do not feel like I am getting support from their Dad- because he is just not in place academically to do it- and he has no patience -- I am sad becaseu I was hoping my 6 year old- would not have the same struggles- yet she does I have been caught myself at the beginning of panic attacks- in places where I have been fine for months - and now all the sudden I am not I used to be on an IUD- now I am not- and I swear that I lose my mind every month- which makes the panic attacks even worse- if I am not able to stop them. My life is beyond overwhelming and I am doing all the right things (well ok- I am bad at taking care of myself- or giving myself time for me)- going to counseling - taking my drugs- functioning So is it winter blues- to many issues- overwhelmed panic attacks- or all of the above?
Hey there Latenlife, Hang in there Sweetie!!!(*hug*) I may not be able to provide you any answers that you are looking for, but I am able to tell you that we are totally in your corner rooting for you!!! I, too, have depression, and anxiety, as well as ADHD and gender dysphoria. Throw in some SERIOUS financial issues due to me making some really bad knee-jerk reactions to my transition, AND a beautiful child with autism. Totally NOT trying to turn this into a battle scar competition. Rather just wanted to let you know, you're not alone. I am with you!! Life can be quite unbearable sometimes. And winter is notoriously the WORST time. It has to do with darker days and lack of the natural vitamin D provided by the sun. But just like all long, cold, dark winters that finally find the warmth and nurturing spring, you too will be in a better place soon. I read something earlier this week that was AWESOME!! It said something like: "It's not learning how to weather the storm. It's learning how to dance in the rain."(!) It sounds to me like you are, at a minimum, a 3 year veteran of these winter time hardships. Every year you have conquered them. This year is no different. YOU GOT THIS!!! And I am totally rooting for you!!!(*hug*)
Just something to bear in mind - you don't say how old you are, but is there any possibility you could be heading towards menopause? You refer to hormones and to experiencing an exacerbation of symptoms every month. I started to get symptoms each month from my late thirties onwards, where my level of estrogen was gradually starting to decline, and when I reached menopause proper in my early fifties, depression and insomnia were the worst symptoms it gave me, much harder to cope with than hot flushes. Panic attacks can also start to become a problem for some women around this time.
Thank you both for responding- I needed the encouragement-onlyhuman33 - I forgot I have gotten through it the last 3 winters- and Landgirl- I had not put the menopause in the picture- I am soon to be 43- so that could be factor as well. You 2 are awesome!
