When I was a teenager I often wished I was like Mr. Spock on Star Trek, always in control of his emotions. I find myself wishing that again. The last few days have been ok, but tonight I am wish that I would not wake up tomorrow morning. Just sleep away so I can have eternal peace.
Your emotions can feel wild and erratic when you're coming out, but they're normal and necessary to moving forward. I'm not the best person to suggest this as I've not done it enough, but have you tried meditation? I more often used listening to music, long walks, alone time, journaling. All of that really helped me level out my emotions or to have an outlet for them.
Even Mr. Spock had the occasional bout of pon farr, which may be a good metaphor for what you are experiencing now. As baristajedi indicated, it's quite formal to feel a range of emotions while coming out. What aspects of your emotions are troublesome?
I'm so sorry you've gone through this. I would like to say that it's foreign to me, but I can relate to the feeling. One thing I have to remind myself of time and time again is that emotions are not reality. Especially when I'm alone or when the season is gray it's so easy to succumb to the fear that this is all there is. Rather, I try to remember that my feelings are like passing weather. If you're still having these feelings of loss or despair I would find help. A prolonged feeling like this can be a symptom of depression. Hang in there. *warm loving embrace* Patrick
