Hello All... There are so many posts here on EC that are emotionally difficult to read, and that makes sense. A lot of us are dealing with decisions that are hard and that affect our families as well as ourselves. Unfortunately, all to often, even though things do get better...they are pretty rough for a while. I wanted to post something that really encouraged me...I hope it will encourage some of you, my brothers and sisters. Short background: I knew I was different around 8 years old. By 15 I knew what it was. I hid in the closet from 15 until 65 when I came out here on EC. For the last two years I have been learning who I really am. I am now in a better place mentally, emotionally and physically than I have ever been. I certainly have not figured out everything and don't think I ever will but the sun shines much brighter than it used to. I had a really significant "epiphany" today and I want to share it... I have been an orphan my entire life. In the last two years I have finally found my family. I have come home. .....David
That's really cool, my story is very similar, when I first came out(on here as well,then wife then everyone else) I would say "My heart is heavy, I have a tear in my eye, but a smile on my face" well I'm happy to say 8months later, my heart is full, I've shed enough tears to last a lifetime and my smile has never been bigger(&&&)
Congratulations on the achievement of this important milestone. I hear you. Most of the posts in this forum focus on the throes of transition. There is the occasional yet far too seldom celebration of the important milestones that come after coming out - the unlearning of the dysfunctional behavior patterns of being in the closet and discovery of the clarity and simplicity of truth grounded in reality of no longer fooling yourself. Yes, we are home and quite grounded in reality. Best, SF
Thank you so much Stewie and SiennaFire. That realization seems like a small thing, but it is so huge! Ever since this morning when that dawned on me I have walking around with a Cheshire Cat grain on my face. I've been out to my wife for about five months now. I am so fortunate that we do love each other and so have been able to stay together. I know that does not work for everybody, but it does in my case. I am careful not to push her too hard, after all I've been dealing with this for decades and she has only had a few months. She saw the look on my face and asked what was going on. I told her it was something that I had just figured out about myself but I didn't want it to be difficult for her. She said she would like to hear it, so I told her. She hugged me and told me she was very happy for me. Then we both shared tears for a while. It feels so good to finally know where I "belong". I am learning more about who I am all the time and I can honestly say that I am better now than I think I have ever been.....David
