I'm moving South and I'm freaked out.

look you can meet homophobic atheists and you can meet loving Christians that would not have a problem with your sexuality. just depends. first thing you need to accept is that not everyone is going to like you and some may very well hate you for your sexuakity. once you understand that you will have to watch your back and watch where you can and cannot be safely out. you dont have to lie but you also dont have to have everyone all up in your business. you dont owe those people nothing but hello and goodbye. feel em out. be safe.

 

Quite frankly it's pretty darn bad where I live, "Georgia". There's about two churches on every road but good luck finding a health clinic or support center that isn't two or three hours away. I hear some other states down here are worse though.

People here are generally hostile towards anyone who doesn't fit their archetype. Christians are the only ones who deserve respect and power, men are in charge of the houses, science is blasphemy, and people like me are freaks. Think of it as a little trip to the past minus the public death by fire. Atlanta is generally much better, though they have a few supremacist/KKK holdouts so I still wouldn't express myself there for their gaze brings trouble.

I'm sure there are intelligent individuals here and there, but it feels like brainpower is practically albinism. In all my years here I have two friends I trust. Others have fled. I don't blame them.

I can understand any bit of worry about coming to these states. I've been planning my escape for years. You'll hear gunshots from time to time, I don't dare venture outside. I just so happen to be the embodiment of everything they hate, gay, female, atheist, scientific, dare I say old school feminist. Somebody like me would draw too much attention. I hide, it's safer.

I'd say only be honest with people when you are absolutely certain of their reaction. They get "shocked" when they find outliers and it can quickly lead to violence. Pick your crowd wisely and don't fall for deceptions. One can speak of "holy mercy" one day and want to stab you the next. Maybe I'm a little paranoid but I've been given plenty of reason to be. Just stay safe.

 

Do stay safe! I'd hate to see anything happen to you, we've become great friends through wall posts.

Are you moving for a job, or are you following family? I would personally hesitate to move further south than Virginia, maybe NC, but that's me. I wish you the best of luck.

 

I'd lean perhaps toward getting that off Amazon for cheap. Might be safer.

 

Stay safe! I live in an old southern county and they don't really ask me too too much about religion. There are tons of homophobic people around though and I feel like they care too much about religion around here and less about the value of human rights. It's pretty messed up if you ask me.

 

ok so y are you moving there if you dont want to?

 

She has no choice in the matter.

 

I live in Mississippi, and it's very southern. I don't live in a city, but a community. I think there are probably about ten churches around here. One gas station, a Subway, a Dollar General, and ten churches...lol

But really, it depends on where you are. I have lived in the deep south for the past 17 years and I'm used to it. There is a great friendliness that you just don't find anywhere else. And....well, things slowly change. I am pretty closeted, and don't anticipate that changing until I am able to move to a larger city in a couple of years. Who knows where I'll end up?

 

But remember Stephen Colbert is from South Carolina. There must be some grass-roots good there.

 

I think you might have a hard time. The east coast is particularly pro feminist in a lot of areas. Also a bunch of the pro LGBT support and even Pride was hosted by some of the local churches in my area. So if religion freaks you out a lot you might be cut off from some potential support in your area.

My advice for survival is to ask people lots of questions when they say something offensive. About why they believe that, and also about their general lifes. Most of the people in my area never get any news from anything more moderate than Fox News. If you keep talking to them they get to know you and see you as a real person, also you can see that they are not 100% awful most of the time. Not great to have to go through that, but it could also be a chance to make a difference.

 

Well, work brought me here....from Georgia. It was actually a really big culture shock from there, if that tells you anything. Yes, I think my current situation would be much easier to deal with in a place where I could be myself. And right now, I can't....not so much for me, but for my daughter.

Yeah, IMO North Carolina is "barely" the south. Ha!

 

Sorry for late reply. I don't know about playing dumb, but I think it has the possibility of being a good experience. Most of the conservatives I talk to live in a very narrow view of the world, and there isn't a lot in their circle to challenge them. When I get to talking, I usually find that we can come to some agreement on most subjects. The really offensive stuff that comes out of their mouths is usually parroted from TV or fake news. They are usually actually really nice people who are genuinely miss informed, or feel held to beliefs their church has told them. In my experience when I want to challenge something they have said instead of telling them they are wrong and awful, I tell them a story about myself or someone I know that relates to the conversation. For example a coworker was talking about how bad immigrants are, specifically Muslims. And I told him that there is a Muslim family that lives in my small town and how close the kids in their class are with them. And that the kids in the class are very protective of them. And how I worry that their mother that I see walking to the store to get them groceries will be attacked. From this he commented back that the kids in the class were doing the right thing and that's how school kids should act. I could tell that he though the story over and saw a little different perspective, and that he saw the kids in a whole class could be hurt from intolerant behavior. I didnt change his mind, but I added a real picture of real people in his mind. From that story you might think he is a awful person, but he also gets up in the middle of the night as a 24/7 on call Red Cross volunteer. He takes supplies to families in need and regularly goes to major disasters all over the country to feed the newly homeless with no compensation. When he does that he doesn't ask what color or religion the people are before he goes out. I feel like if he knew enough real Muslim or immigrant people, he would change his views. People are complicated like that. Let them see who you are, and if they say something awful ask them why. Not an easy thing to do by any measure, but in the long run it's a strength that carries you forward instead of drowning in frustration.