I suppose I really, really don't want to make the wrong decision, or get my timing very, very wrong. I don't know whether I'm gay or not. Part of me thinks that if I was, I would have told my (opposite sex) partner months ago. That I would have felt a need to do so. On the other hand, why have I been questioning my sexuality and thinking about women for the last 2(ish) years, if there's nothing to it? At the moment, I feel that due to practical reasons, it would be unwise for me to tell my partner anything. I don't know whether I'd feel different if my situation was different. Would it occupy my thoughts so much, if it was something I could reasonably pursue? The other thing that bothers me, is that whilst sex with my current partner has never been amazing, for along time, I didn't find it repulsive either. So I wouldn't seek it out, but didn't find it unappealing when it happened. I just figured that was what sex was like. So, perhaps I'm more bi with a preference for women at the moment. I don't know. At the moment, I can't see that there's anything particularly exciting about sex with a man, and I don't think I'd bother with another relationship, if my current one were to end. But, that might be because my current relationship is in a bit of a rut, and I might feel differently on the other side. If you read all that (rubbish), thanks.
have you ever had sex with a man before this guy? if so how was it? do you know what you like and dont like sexually so you can communicate to your current partner what turns you on? or do you just lay there while he does his business on top of you? before jumpimg into the lady pond you need to try and fix whats happening in this current realationship. communicate what you want with this guy. does he make you happy in other ways? if the sex was better would you be more excited about the relationship? sexuality can be fluid and also situational in my humble opinion. yes you have been thinking about women but dont label yourself. what you do need to do is work on your current relationship so you can atleast have the tools to make your next relationship better.
What might be happening is Bi/Pan suppression; as in your current relationship is suffering because there's a side of your needs he simply can't fulfill. How much attraction do you find yourself having towards other women? Is it like an aching need or a curiosity? Are you happy with him outside of the sex part? For me I felt like I wasn't complete when I was with my girlfriend. I didn't say anything because we were happy for years; but over time both of us dulled in interest for each other. It wasn't until we both accepted we were pansexual and needed a guy for a 3-some once in a while that our relationship flourished again.
Are you emotionally connected to your boyfriend? Do you share common interests, goals, life values? Do you share a mutual respect? Do you challenge each other, are you helping each other grow, individually and as a couple? As I'm sure you know, if your relationship is 'off' in any of these areas, sex will surely suffer. You mention you are in a bit of a rut with your relationship right now. What are the areas in the relationship that could be improved to move out of this rut, and to possibly improve your sex life with your partner? Over the past couple of years have you been thinking about women in a general way? Has there been a particular woman you are/have been attracted to? Do you feel you are curious about just being sexual with a woman, or do you find women attractive emotionally and romantically also? At this point, I agree with the other poster. You should work on your current relationship, as usually relationship ruts don't just spontaneously fix themselves. Of course both you and your partner have to be inclined to improve your relationship, and have to communicate honestly about what you need (in all areas.) If it feels like you are not inclined to take the steps to make changes in this current relationship (or feel like you don't even want to bother) I would take a look at why that is. It could be because this is just not the right man for you, but a relationship with another man would be right...or maybe you are bi and a relationship with woman at this time might be right. Ultimately only you will be able to answer these questions. Best of luck
Thanks all for your replies. No, never had sex with anyone else. I probably could communicate more than I do, but when it comes down to it, I just can't be bothered. Sex between us has never been great, so I guess I just don't have the motivation to try now. I'd rather go to sleep. We get on fine day-to-day, but it's not just the sex part of the relationship. There's lots of other things, but I won't go into them. Our relationship wasn't great before I started questioning and I'm not completely happy with him outside of sex. I've posted threads about my attraction to women/men on here before, so I'm not going to repeat it all again. Our relationship is probably off in all those areas. As above, I've posted about my attraction to women before, and nothing on that front has changed. I do feel like I don't want to improve it. I'll think about it, thanks.
