Like most people I prefer the gay label but during this coming out process, I have often said to myself "look you're a homosexual' not in a demeaning way but I felt the need to accept that label too- that I am a man who can only find intimacy and love with another man and who is only really sexually aroused by having sex with other men. For me it helped answer questions "Why do I see that woman as beautiful but I don't get aroused or have fantasies- look it's because you're a homosexual" "Why is it so easy to get aroused thinking about men - because you are a homosexual" Any one else experience this?
During our therapy before my divorce, the therapist referenced my "homosexuality" many times. She never referred to me as a homosexual, but her use of homosexuality helped me put in perspective that I can only be romantically and sexually attracted to men. So I, in a way, know where you are coming from.
I do not see "homosexual" as a label in the same way I see "gay", "Queer" or "bi" as a label. Homosexuality defines whom I am, being gay labels whom I am. I am fine with either.
For me gay seems to somehow be PC term for sexual attraction. I much prefer homosexual as it is more descriptive at least to me of my attraction. Homosexual and proud!
I see homosexuality/homosexual as clinical terms relating to sexual orientation vis-à-vis heterosexuality/heterosexual and bisexuality/bisexual. I also see homosexual as an anachronistic label for gay, often used by people who express some degree of contempt towards homosexuals. As such, I prefer the label gay.
I don't like homosexual. It sounds too clinical to me. It also seems to be a word used by LGBT haters. I don't like gay particularly. Gay was an ugly label when I was young. But I like the word much better than homosexual, which is why I use it.
Among my pool of friends, we use "poof", "fag", "gay" and "homo" (and sometimes "flaming 'mo") pretty interchangeably. (we don't take ourselves too seriously.) "Poof" is sort of the initial go-to. I do think that "homosexual" sounds a little clinical. There are circumstances where I might use it -- such as what teach1 was describing -- but otherwise, probably not.
I prefer the label gay too, but I think used homosexual to myself during coming out 'self talk' to do just that- help understand, in clinical terms, a homosexual. ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2017 at 08:19 AM ---------- yes this is why I used it in myself talk. I needed to understand this.