After nearly 4 years here, I came out to a person who actually knows me. Wait! I thought I'd heard you'd come out to yourself in March, 2013! comes the voice from the back of the Later in Life audience. Wouldn't that mean you'd come out to person who knows you long before now? I guess so. Good point. Wait! comes another voice from the back of the audience. He said to a person. I'm not entirely sure BMC77 is actually human. Excellent point, the entire Later in Life Audience murmurs. He's not very human, come to think of it! Actually, I've come out to some people who know me, but I've not anyone who is more than a very casual acquaintance. The woman I came out to tonight is an old high school friend, who has actually been high on my list of possible people to come out to. Indeed, every time I think of coming out, her name made it onto the list. We haven't seen each other in years, but we stay in contact. I have good reason to assume she'll be accepting. What delayed me all this time? Various reasons at various times. A major factor has, I guess, is that I don't see myself as one of those people who announces to all far and wide that he's gay. My idea of being out is reach a point where I don't care if anyone knows. As for actively informing, well, do that if there is reason. One reason I've cited is if I were dating. And, indeed, many people may never be told I'm gay. Instead, if I were ever to date (as unlikely as that seems...), I'd announce my boyfriend, and let them draw the lines to connect the dots. I also have to admit, though, that I've had some fears. Not so much with acceptance from this friend. But she is connected to me by Facebook, and there are several people on my "Friends" list who need to be kept in the dark for the moment. I trust my friend; however, I know "slips" can happen. It's easier if everyone stays in the dark. But...for some reason I decided to go ahead tonight. It was a sudden decision. We were in contact about one matter. And I was responding, it occurred to me that the subject matter allowed for a coming out that I could be comfortable with. It wouldn't be a screaming of "I'm gay!" Instead, it would be a simple statement that neatly tied into what I was saying. So...I added this bit of information about myself to what I was writing on that other topic. I suppose this is where I'm supposed to say how wonderful it feels having come out. But I don't feel really wonderful. More numb. Maybe from the shock of doing it. Also because in some ways it doesn't really seem like a big deal. I've come to accept I'm gay--I came out to myself less than 3 years and 11 months ago. It's not like I really feel a hugely compelling reason right now to come out to others. Still...it is a change being out to someone who actually knows me... To this point, it's only been very casual acquaintances--like a gay cashier at my favorite grocery store, or my therapist. It will be interesting to see what response, if any, I get from my high school friend...
Well done! Does it feel a bit like you have just unloaded some of your baggage but still getting used to the weight difference? I hope this is a real progressive step for you. Well done!
well done, i have also come out to 2 women friends i know and they were very supportive and i felt incredible releif. Not sure i could do it to male friends for a while unless they were also bi/gay. That will depend on the circumstances, not really into advertising my sexuality to the world. I think that it is a private thing and i have children and family who i wouldn't want to have to deal with it just yet. Came out to my women friends as i felt like i would burst if i didn't tell someone. Ended up talking about hot guys with them and that was liberating to express my desires to someone else in that way. Unfortunately i have no gay/bi friends to confide in, but i am determined to find some so i can express myself freely with another likeminded man.
